#yes hes traumatized whats new
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Posting some old art cus I love Stormflash 💙 let me gush about him gsubeusgeushsishsush
(he has a pretty useless one percenter ability of making it rain...)
#hes my special little boi#yes hes traumatized whats new#tf Stormflash#i have such a soft spot for him#tf oc#tf gadget#its old gadgets design lol#transformers oc#transformers#maccadam#transformers seekers
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thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?
day 356
BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails
truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute
#day 356#year 4#dave strider#aradia megido#aradave#homestuck#she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D#boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY#and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave#the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia#yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first#but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point#she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff#and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease#because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC#shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy'#shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-'#'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about'#'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it'#i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like#at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze#but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends#ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies#i will be here waiting patiently#timerails
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*grips Shen Qingqiu by the shoulders*
aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to crack under the pressure of the system and the robbed autonomy of being forced into a role you had no choice in but have to play anyways? don't you want to buckle under the realization that, to you, no matter what you do your life is going to end in a horrific death? Whether that be under Luo Binghe's hands or the System's?
Don't you want to realize that no matter all the good you have done and the lives you have changed and saved, you're still standing at the ledge of a cliff with a sword to your disciple's chest?
Shouldn't it be you at the edge instead? Balancing on the crumbling dirt's end of death on either side, and you can either walk into it or be forced?
don't you want to go apeshit?
#I AM SO NORMAL YOU GUYS I PROMISE *visibly foaming at the mouth and gritting my teeth so hard you can hear them crack*#svsss#scum villain#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain self saving system#HI YES I MAY NOT HAVE READ THE NOVEL AND ONLY BEEN HERE FOR A WEEK BUT I AM. OBSESSED. FIXATED IF YOU WILL#luo binghe standing at the edge of the endless abyss and he sees something snap in his shizun's eyes like metal creaking under#the pressure of the deep sea. or like heat rising too quickly. the steady slow snap of someone hanging on by a thread.#i dont think i've fully understood sqq's characterization howEVER. i think i've got enough of his character down to try and twist it the wa#i think could happen. forgive me if this isnt in character or anything ajhf#anyways i love isekai anything and i think the system could slowly drive someone who didnt ask to be here insane#SY adjusts rather quickly from what i've heard but what if he DIDN'T. what if it wasnt fine what if he was trying his best and it was#taking its toll because apparently trying his best just wasnt enough. his stubborn refusal to view the people around him as people#but as characters following a script is very frustrating to me but also it works in my favor for this. look at the best way to break him is#*stares at SQQ* i think he should go apeshit. as a treat. skin a man alive SQQ. bite someone. rip out their throat.#i know thats prolly not his character but what if it COULD be. what if it IS. people are so nuanced and niche and can change at the turn#of a dime and SQQ has been forced into an unfavorable position and frankly traumatic experience. he could change or he could not and#isnt that FASCINATING? to erode or to stand tall. are you copper or are you a canyon. will you change colors and stay the same or will you#crumble and shear and become something new? when facing the elements when facing the inevitable what will you become?
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"Oooo Adam has a right to hate Lucifer, Lucifer took Lilith and Eve away from him"
Adam was an abusive asshat to Lilith. Lilith chose to be with the one who actually respected her and didn't demand she be solely his submissive hanger-on.
"From the dust of Earth, [the angels] created Adam and Lilith. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Adam demanded control, and Lilith refused to submit to his will. She fled the Garden."
"Drawn in by her fierce independence, Lucifer found her and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love."
2. Lucifer didn't "take" Eve. He offered her the forbidden fruit and she accepted.
"Together, [Lilith and Lucifer] wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the Fruit of Knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted."
We don't know what happened after aside from the fact that apparently because Eve took the fruit "evil" was let in to the world the angels created. Since humanity still, y'know, exists, we can gather that Eve stayed with Adam and they had kids like in the original myth.
3. It really says a lot that this wording denies Eve and Lilith any actual agency in what happened in favor of pushing all the blame and responsibility on Lucifer and making Adam out to be a poor uwu misunderstood baby. The misogyny is strong in this one.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel eve#hazbin hotel lilith#adam stans are shaping up to be the new c*tra stans#anything to avoid admitting that their precious blorbo is largely responsible for everything bad that happened to them#and push the blame onto other characters instead#besides I have a hard time feeling bad for Adam when the first time we see him after the origin story he's leading a genocide#while living the high life as a revered angel up in heaven#ah yes poor adam#what happened in eden clearly traumatized him so much#look how he's suffering#/s
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how many flashbacks and walking nightmares did edwin have when they were first traveling around finding out items he was fine with before cause the worst panic attacks
leaving charles behind to deal with whatever monster or ghost cause he couldnt stop the urge the fear to great and suddenly everythings been another ruse and hes back in hell and needs to run charles tries to stop him but he cant edwin doesnt even need to breathe and still feels like hes suffocating when charles finds him rambling about needing to escapse pushing charles away not trusting him to even be real just another demon to play games having to be talked down and he feels foolish
Hearing certain phrases and not being able to hold back from lashing out kn their first few clients he stays stressed fists pushed together under the desk dismissive and ruder than normal they loose that client and charles doesnt understand what set edwin off and edwin doesnt really know either who gets triggered by words
How long till edwin actually trusted charles fully not keeping himself at a distance posture ridgid never letting charles behind him always watching from the corners of his eyes to make sure charles doesnt morph into something horrifying when he thinks edwin cant see that this all isnt an elaborate hoax and he truly is out of hell and charles isnt going to leave him
#i want traumatized paranoid edwin like yes he seemed fine meeting charles but what about after that something reminding of hell and suddenly#hes convinced whatever demon owns him isnt playing a new sick game#dead boy detectives#the dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#ant posts stuff
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havin the weirdest crisis of my life
#this is like. did related so im gonna sound completely uh#what’s the word. odd and shit for a sec okay? okay#so I’ve been here. hi im cheri silver yknow me for about 20 years total but jay used to front for years when we were in middle school#im not the. original host I guess but I’ve been around since#we were in the early single digits and never left#so im the host right? I existed to go thru the Trauma#but. it’s been my life for so long. my parents don’t know Her#they’ve only known me#but like. we’re finally starting to let go of that trauma#errr not let go but make peace with it. and we’ve been holding onto it for so long. I’ve been holding on to it for so long#but.. who am I without it? like yes that’s my trauma but also. is my purpose over?? is that why we haven’t been able to draw?#I’ve been the host for 20 years this is my life#my friends my gf my life my hobbies it’s mine not anyone else’s#I let others take the wheel when I can’t (or they forcibly do it for me) and jays been gone for like 3 years he only came back because I’ve#been being traumatized everyday recently. but like. will I have to go too??#reintergration is not really our goal. never has been but like#if we do. will I be here or will She come back? we’ve had false alarms before but it’s mostly been decided that it’s my front my life#maybe im just triggered all the time and that’s why I feel extra out of it#less myself#New Traumas are happening to us everyday#but yeah. I dont talk abt this aspect of my life much but it’s so scary to think about#I’ll talk to Chevy when they get off of work tomorrow abt it if it’s still like. freaking me out#I am me. we are a bunch of niggas but I am me.#did niggas when the identity disorder makes them dissociate smh#😫
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ok but.. six of crows golden wind au 👀
#mostly bc mista reminds me of Jesper so much lol#so mista as sharpshooter ofc#And Bruno obv is the gang leader/thief w a traumatic past#I think abba would be a great heartrender#giorno fits as the new member the way wylan was#tho I’m not sure if he’d be the demolitions expert#and narancia would fit wylan’s role as well bc he’s illiterate#and i also think he’d be a neat demolitions expert#but narancia also gives me good wraith/spy vibes like inej so idk#also in the soc promo Matthias is described as a convict#and I guess fugo could fit under that#or maybe abba being the convict and fugo as the heartrender 🤔#Hm much to think abt#yes this is just me wanting to write a heist au what about it#sorry i just need to see them steal from a casino so badly#aaaaand now Im thinking abt Bruno with slicked back hair… 😳#kinda wanna draw this whole au now..#blahblahbills#jojo posting
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I do fully agree with you bigger point. The core problem is Poney Express. It's them that allowed this tragedy to happen!
[sorry I yap a lot, I have lot's of thoughts on this ^^]
My only critique is sayin Swansea didn't do anything (or that he wouldn't have). I will not bulge on it, this is simply not true. And he shouldn't have had to anyway! he was just a mechanic, not a security agent. Like ya mentioned, this should never have been allowed to happen in the first place, it was the company responsibility to ensure their employees safety. I'm not sayin' he could have fixed it! (He couldn't) Because this situation was beyond just Jimmy.
However, what's wrong about protecting Daisuke? They were all in a desperate situation and there was one cryopod left. They were all going to die. It was clearly a scheme they both agreed to. Based on the stupid drawing and how close their sleeping bags were, Anya probably liked Daisuke. He was just a kid and I do believe she wanted him to live. It's part of her choice, her final act of autonomy.
And it fits her character too. She's a healer who's tryin' her best to see good in people despite... Everything. (but not blindin' herself from their darkness, unlike Curly). She failed med school, like, 6 times. Saving people is something she was determined to do. So, I'm not surprised by her agreement to this plan.
And I don't think it's bad narrative optic if Swansea stepped up to help/protect her. It's not 'fixing the situation', it's solidary, it's empathy. Which she needed. Bein' alone in your pain while your aggressor is constantly lurking close... Her situation was truly horrifying.
one thing in the mouthwashing fandom that annoys me is when people make those jokes like "Swansea would have killed Jimmy if Anya told him" because like,,,,,, she did and he didn't. but also. i don't think the moral the game is trying to show is that Anya should have picked another man to protect her
#Also nothing 'is proven' in mouthwashing#You have to make the deductions based on the environmental clues#And I'm 100% certain of that theory#Because Jimmy is selfish and would have killed Daisuke himself (which he did) to be the one to get the pod#It's obvious#They both knew what kind of man Jimmy was#And ye he probably didn't act instantly to protect Daisuke#To not traumatize him further#And how is that wrong?#It's sad for Anya and Swansea approach to the problem WAS wrong#He should have put himself between Anya and Jim more he should have warned Daisuke about the new captain#And the worst of it is.. Jimmy still took a part of her choice her autonomy away#Because her sacrifice was for nothing#Not fully but still#And maybe.. Maybe it does add to the pregnancy metaphor in a way now that I think about it...#Fucked up.. And very complex game..#All this yappin to say yeah Swansea stepping up is not the point and it would not have fixed things#It didn't#But he still did and it's important imo#He wasn't a bad man and he cared more than what met the eye#But his lone wolf attitude his way of keepin' people at arm length is what failed people around him#He's a complex character too and I won't stand for this slander 😤 /j#I hope my yappin' didn't bore you#Idk if my tone is right either I hope it didn't come as aggressive or anything#It's an interesting subject#^^
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Please Please Please (Mom! Reader x Batfam)
Don't prove I'm right~ I love that song so much. Anyways! Not extreme Yandere, but part 2 will have some. This is just the setting up for it. Also, while writing I won't lie, I forgot about Damien, so he will have a lot of showtime in the next part. FYI
TW: Cheating, slapping (Reader slaps Bruce), Reader also throws something at Bruce.
In now way do I condone partner violence. no matter how mad you get, you should never hit or throw something at your partner.
In case you have never heard this song before, first of all who are you? Secondly here is the link
@Rosecentury
@Problematicreblogger
@Kurai-hono-blog
@Lunaluz432
@testishere
Y/N had put her life on pause for Bruce and his hero complex. She is a top-model. A supermodel that is still being asked to do photoshoots, make guest appearances, and dominate the runway despite her time away from it. The strict workout regime was still her daily exercise, and she still was conscious of what she ate. Age had not affected her the way it has to some of her friends because Y/N lived to be a model.
Yet, she had put that on the backburner for her husband and kids. She forced her attention onto the scarred and vibrant children that her traumatized husband brought in like strays. Y/N raised them, alongside Alfred. It’s because of them that their sons and daughters did not turn out as crooked as Bruce Wayne. A man that was full of jagged and sharp pieces, piercing the skin of whoever got close.
E/C eyes rolled nearly out her socket, taking a sip of the morning coffee and waiting for her youngest to come down. She ignored the nervous glances being sent her way from her sons, and instead pulled out her phone to look for a familiar contact.
“None of you have anything I need to be here for, do you?” Tim and Jason quickly shook their heads, and Dick gave a nervous smile, “Not really… although it would be nice if you stayed here though.” Y/N raised a delicate eyebrow, and a sharp smile formed on her lips as she pressed ‘call,’ “Ah, don’t worry Dickie, I’ll come back. I’m just going on a trip.”
The person answered, and before they could start spewing curses, Y/N greeted them, “Hey, Jackie! It’s Y/N.”
“Y-Y/N! What’s going on?”
“Remember those gigs you were telling me about?”
“Yeah?”
“Book them.” The boys stood up while her manager on the other line sputtered in excitement, “Really?! Oh my gosh Y/N this is so exciting! Which ones do you want? I know you want to stay close to Gotham -heaven knows why- but I can find some in-”
“All of them.”
“...what?”
“Book all of them.” Jackie hummed, “Some are out of the country though.”
“Even better! Pack your bags Jackie, we are gonna be gone for a while. Bring Stella too, I’ll pay for both of your tickets and lodgings.” Jackie was stuttering, “The-the first gig in a week is Venice, Italy! Is that enough time for you to-”
“Let's leave tonight.”
“Tonight?!” Everyone screeched, and Y/N gave her sons an annoyed look, “Yes, tonight. Let's enjoy Venice like when we were young, and show Stella around. I’m sure the two of you could use a vacation anyways.”
“....Y/N, is everything okay?”
“Peachy. See you tonight.” Y/N hung up, and threw her phone on the opposite end of the couch, continuing to sip her cup of coffee as the news reporter continued to talk about Batman and his risky rendezvous with Catwoman. The perfect love story.
The pursuer and the pursued. The cop and robber. Batman, the man of justice, and Catwoman, a thief.
Her jaw clenched, and her fingers tightened around the handle of the mug. The air around her was full of jitters and Dick was basically vibrating with worry, Jason focused intensely on his phone, and Tim was drinking even more coffee.
“Um, mom, are you… is this…” Dick was fumbling, trying to find the words, and Y/N smiled, “C’mon on Dickie. It’s been a while since I went on the runway, or even in front of a camera outside of Gotham. You’re all old enough now, it’s fine.”
“What about Dami?” Y/N smiled sadly, “Dami will be fine. Hell, today I’ll have him help me choose the jewelry and clothes that I will be packing.”
“You’re gonna have him help you pack your bags to leave?” Tim wondered, and Y/N flinched out how terrible that sounded, “Not like that. It’s a trip. A fashion trip and a girls trip.” Jason scrunched his nose, “Ma, fucking Bruce just go caught cheating and was broadcasted across the NEWs, and you’re now leaving for a trip. Do you think Dami will understand that?”
Y/N took a sip of her coffee, “He will. It’ll be a conversation but it will be reiterated as many times as he needs to hear it. Plus, it’s not like you guys can’t call me.” Damien came stomping down the stairs, dressed in the Gotham Academy Uniform, and Y/N threw on a smile that would have had actresses crying, “Dami! I need your help today, so nevermind school.” Green eyes blinked in shock, his gaze taking in every one in the room before landing back on her, “Are you needing my assistance in packing?”
“Only for a trip. So there’s no need to pack everything.” Damien nodded, “Fine. I will assist you. You have an abysmal amount of jewelry and some of them are simply deplorable.” Y/N chuckled, “Thanks Dami.” He went back up the stairs to change, and Y/N turned back to the NEWs where they were finally talking about something different.
Sighing, Y/N stood up from the couch, “I’ll be in my room packing if anyone needs anything.” Silence followed her, and once she was out of earshot, Dick proceeded to panic even more.
+++
She’s in Greece now. After spending a week in Italy, a week in Iceland, two weeks in France, and now four days in Zakynthos, Greece, she knows her vacation time is limited. Y/N has been using Bruce’s card to pay for the three luxury hotel rooms, one for herself (obviously), Jackie, and Stella. She’s used them for the plane flight in first class, the first class train ride, the yacht to get to this island, the fancy dinners, shopping sprees, any time that she needed to put money down she was using his card.
Bruce is a billionaire, he doesn’t care and Y/N is also a billionaire, but this is her way of being petty. Why would she waste her money?
A delicate eyebrow raised at the man in the mirror, followed by two of their sons and a butler dressed in a Hawaiian shirt.
“Lady Y/N, it is great to see you.”
“Hey Alfie, vacation looks good on you. I highly recommend the mimosa’s here, none of them have been bad.”
“Hi Ma, you look relaxed.” Jason walked further into the room, taking a seat on the plush chair and grabbing a grape, and tossing some to Dick. Their oldest son smiled and waved, “C’mon mom, I know you’ve been here before, but you could at least try and look like a tourist.” Y/N rolled her eyes, smiling lovingly and flicking her hair over her shoulder. She leaned close to the mirror again, rubbing sunscreen on her face and massaging it into her skin.
Her husband made his way a little closer as the family spread out in the room. Jason sitting in the chair, Dick on the bed, and Alfred standing near the door. Y/N sneered at Bruce through the mirror, “Bringing the kids to see you get humiliated is something I would have never thought you’d do.”
Bruce sighed heavily, and Y/N wiped her hands on the towel and sipped her mimosa. Piercing blue eyes, filled with exhaustion and guilt, met hers, “Y/N, how much longer are you scheduled for?”
“Hmm, for a while Bruce,” She pretended to think, “After all, I’ve been wanting to get back into modeling now that most of the kids are becoming independent, and what better way to announce to the world that I am back than a hard launch.” Bruce raised an eyebrow at her, “Will it be my card you’ll continue to use.”
“Of course! It's the least my darling, idiotic, and hormone-rivaling-a-teenager husband can do after that stunt, right?” The room got colder and Dick sat up straighter at the tension between his two parental figures. Y/N has always had a sharp tongue and quick wit, one she used on Bruce a lot. Rarely ever was it aimed to be hurtful though.
“Y/N, temper.” Dick’s jaw opened and Jason made an exaggerated gasp. Alfred looked pained as Y/N whirled around and seethed at Bruce, “Temper? Temper?! Who the hell are you to tell me to watch my temper when you can’t even control your own hormones?
“If you wanted to see my temper you just had to fucking say so!” Dick turned to Alfred, trying to see if there was anything he could do, but at the resigned look the man gave him, the oldest son choked on a noise, “This is a new side of mom.”
“Lady Y/N has always had a temper, one that rivals Master Bruce.” She looked like a puffed up cat while Bruce was cowing like a dog with puppy eyes, “When they were younger, she would put even the adults in their place.” Her hand grabbed the now cold coffee pot, and Dick feels like it was only because Bruce was used to stuff being thrown at him and catching things that he was able to grab the projectile before it landed on the walls and carpet. Alfred raised a brow, “Sometimes that temper bleeds into other things.”
Their mother was seething in front of Bruce, looking like a bull and was ready to charge into a china shop. While Bruce may not be as delicate as one, Dick has money on Y/N still doing a lot of damage if she were to charge. Metaphorically and physically.
“Y/N, please.” Bruce tried again, only to see her get more angry. His hands were up in a placating manner, and Y/N held her own hands tense and ready to swing if he came closer.
“Y/N, it genuinely was an accident.”
“ ‘it genuinely was an accident’–” She mocked, purposefully making her voice annoying “-fuck off! Like your tongue going down her throat is an accident. Didn’t know that could happen!” Y/N looked around again for something to chuck, while Bruce closed the space between them inch by inch.
“What’s next? Are you going to trip and accidentally find yourself between her legs with your pants down?” Jason and Dick blanched at the imagery.
“Over a decade of marriage, of me playing the perfect ex-model-arm-candy wife for Bruce Wayne just for you dressed in a fucking furry suit to go and makeout with another fucking furry!
“Like! I know we weren’t in this for love, but there. Are. Still. Standards!” She enunciated each word with a swat of her hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
“I still have standards! You don’t see me making out with anyone else do you? Even as I’m playing Supermodel Y/N, dressed to the millions and making everyone drool, I don’t go making out with them!”
“How could Batman, of all persona’s you wish to play, do that? I expected that from Brucie, not Batman, defender of Justice or whatever bullshit you spew when dressed in that gothic suit.”
Bruce sighed, “Y/N, it was bad timing.” He gave her a hard look, “Justice and this are different. You cannot compare the two.” The man knew he messed up once the words left his mouth and he closed his eyes in regret.
Jason saw the slap coming and he braced himself for the impact it would have. Bruce didn’t catch it, despite him being fully capable of it, and when it landed everyone winced at the sound and the red mark.
“Well this is my justice. Now go away. I have a photoshoot to get ready for and you are just pissing me off!” The hand print was immaculate. One that had Jason biting back a laugh and Dick looking horrified. Y/N whirled back around to face her vanity, where all her jewelry laid on the surface, and her attention was focused back on picking which one would go with her outfit to the shoot.
Jason whistled when Bruce turned around to face his kids and Butler, “Good hit Ma. You should hit the other side to even it out.” Y/N gave a laugh, picking up the pearl earrings encased with gold, and she continued to pick out a necklace.
“Jay, help me out here please.” Rough hands replaced her’s, and green eyes met furious E/C though the mirror. Using the safety of her son’s larger frame to hide herself, Y/N slowly let herself crumble a little bit. Jason could see the anger, hurt, and sadness that was slowly turning the sclera red from holding back tears. There was a subtle shake in her shoulders and the trembling of lips, but Y/N held it together. She was holding onto it by the seams, desperately waiting for the man causing her pain to be gone.
When the gold clasped, Y/N reached over for her large hat and sunglasses, “Enjoy the beach. Alfie, you especially should enjoy this vacation. Don’t let this stupid, untrustworthy, and manwhore of a furry disrupt it.” With that, she slammed her hotel room door on her way out, and they all listened as her heels clicked down the hall until they were out of ear shot.
Alfred glanced at his ward, “Well, I am not one for violence when there are disputes between partners, but I will say that one slap was well deserved, Master Bruce.” The man sighed, slightly rubbing his cheek, “I think the last time she hit me that hard was when we were in grade school.”
“She put all her body weight into that.” Dick glanced at the hand print, “Woah, I think you can see the ring too.” Jason whistled, and Bruce closed his eyes and took deep breaths to keep himself steady, reflecting on the conversation and where exactly he messed up.
“I think this is the third time she’s slapped me…”
“Fourth, sir.” Bruce nodded, remembering the third time. Jason raised an eyebrow, “I only know of the time you were both 6, and you said something mean so she hit you.” Dick pouted, “I know of the one in Middle School, when you were once accused of touching her butt.”
Alfred raised a brow, “The third time was when she dropped you off at the manor after a long night of drinking and you—”
“Thanks Alfred, there’s no need to tell that story.” Bruce’s cheeks were now flushed from embarrassment rather than the slap on his cheek. Y/N truly has seen him through it all. When he got into fights in school, it was always her eyes he sought out after each one. Bored E/C eyes, framed by thick lashes and elegant eyeliner, always watching with a blank expression. Bruce Wayne rarely phased Y/N L/N. When he was younger, he noticed how his last name made people stumble or stutter when talking to him, allowing him to say whatever he wanted. It did nothing to Y/N, who met his gaze and taunts head on with her own witty comebacks that stuck at parts of Bruce that had him fumbling.
He can remember his dad, Thomas Wayne, laughing when he caught Y/N’s sly comeback directed at Bruce after he said something about her dress. Y/N’s own parents looked mortified.
Y/N L/N-Wayne was a flame that never wavered. It’s what made her successful at modeling, and a supermodel in her first two years. That flame is what had photographers, stylists, fashion designers, and make up artists still call her up, begging for her to come back. A force of nature that had only paused for Bruce and their children.
“C’mon, Y/N. Even you can see the benefits of this.” The woman raised her brow at a younger Bruce, who was smiling at her.
“Your life does not pause, and now with the Wayne name as yours, your options are endless.”
“And what about you?”
“This means I no longer have to play as a playboy in public and everyone will stop asking me to marry them or their daughters.” Y/N laughed, “Nah, you’ll still get them. They’ll just now be whispered behind closed doors.”
Bruce smiled, “The standards of a regular marriage will still apply. Obviously not the sex part or anything, but everything else will. Think of it like living with roommates.
“This will work for the both of us, Y/N.” The woman smiled into the rim of her cup, red lips leaving an imprint on the glass.
It took him five tries for her to finally agree. There might have been some manipulation on his side of things, but he got that ring on her finger, and 2 months later she was walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that was deemed ‘The Dress of the Century.’ She was beautiful, even more so than usual.
Dick glanced at him, “So, what’s the plan?” Bruce sighed, “Just make sure she doesn’t get hurt.”
++++
It took 4 months for Y/N to come back to the manor. Within those 4 months, one of them were always with her. Switching off when they hit a new city, and each one had tried their charm on having her come back to the mansion. Bruce was going crazy, therefore Batman was more brutal than usual, and that the meant the other birds had to pick up the slack when it came to emotions. Bruce had all but shut down every other part that wasn’t Batman.
However, nothing returned to normal once she was back. Her and Bruce were rarely in each other’s presence, and she refused to see or do anything about Batman. Y/N was trying to remove herself from Bruce Wayne completely, and no one liked that.
Bruce and Y/N may claim that they were never in love, and that they only married for convenience. However, Dick will always remember watching Bruce and Y/N dancing in the main hall of the manor. He was hanging onto the chandelier, not yet noticed by either, as a song began playing and they both began dancing.
They had been dressed in casual clothes, which consisted of dark blue jeans and nice tops and shoes. Dick’s young eyes watched as the two of them swayed and twirled around each other, Y/N laughing at the whispered words Bruce would share, and the stern man relaxing for the duration of the time.
They were far from the perfect couple. Their parenting styles were different, and it took a while for Y/N to warm up to Dick. She was never cold or malicious, but just like Dick and everyone else, she was lost. However, it was her awkward arms he sought after when he had a bad day, or when Bruce got on his nerves. It was her eyes he always seeked approval for.
When she caught him hastily packing, dying to get away from the man that had his rules tighter than the Robin suit, she helped. Y/N had folded his clothes, snuck a bottle of Smirnoff and Titos into his luggage, because moving required at least two bottles of alcohol, and she hugged him goodbye.
Every member of this family has a memory tied to Y/N. A gentle one.
Damian had kind memories, where Y/N smiled at him for no reason. She did not expect perfection, and one time she stated how she wished Damian would fail sometimes. It was something that had him seething and jumping to defend himself, but Y/N laughed, “Failure is our best teacher, Damian. What better time to fail then when you knwo you have people willing to help you up?”
Jason remembers peeking on Y/N when he was younger. Watching through the cracks of the door as she and Bruce swayed to music, laughed at old memories, or simply sat around each other and read a book. Sometimes, he’d catch her trying on her jewelry, or reorganizing her perfume. Every now and then she would go through her closet and donate clothes she no longer wanted or needed.
He watched how Dick, would seek her out whenever he and Bruce argued. When Jason finally allowed himself to be wrapped in those arms– arms that always had Bruce looking ready to sacrifice everything, that had Dick relaxing, and Alfred smiling endearingly– and he can see why they did so. It's different from Bruce, because Bruce makes you feel protected. In Bruce’s arms, Jason knows that there is almost nothing that can harm him.
In Y/N’s embrace, Jason feels at peace. There’s no need to worry about protection because he’s in a place that does not need it. When he dances with Y/N, to their song nonetheless, there is nothing that can ever disrupt the moment. Y/N stares at him with adoration, just how she does with Dick, only her attention is on him. Him! A street rat from Dowry, Crime Alley, and he has the attention of the woman that is Bruce’s equal in the highest social circles.
Those soft E/C eyes, that always stared at them with warmth and love, stared back at him through the mirror. He and Tim, because Timmy loved her just as much as he did, watched as Y/N emptied another glass of the Rose, and how the exhaustion from all the shows, photoshoots, flashing cameras, and the ordeal with Bruce seeped into her bones.
“Hey Ma, let's get some sleep.” Jason walked closer, carefully minding the scattered jewelry that looked more expensive than any of his weapons, and Tim, who was forever on the same wavelength as Jason, scampered over to the large bed and lit the diffuser.
Y/N hummed, running her hands through her hair, before tilting her head back and looking at Jason once more, “You both shouldn’t be here. I can handle this myself.” Y/N never liked it when any of the kids saw her less than presentable. She was always dressed in nice clothes, with nice jewelry, and makeup even at the manor. It's one of the worries of being a model, she had told Dick, always scared that the nosey paparazzi will catch you at your worst and share it with an even crueler audience.
Jason had once confided in her about Willis Todd, and how he hated it when she drank in front of him. Whether it was scotch or champagne.
After that, Y/N always drank in her room.
The thing is, that Jason knows Y/N wouldn’t ever hurt him. She’s not like Willis who purposefully seeked out to hurt someone smaller. Jason knows that no matter how mad she got at him, she wouldn’t do anything (unlike what she would do to Bruce).
This is why, despite all the trauma he has with alcohol and people being intoxicated, he can confidently move the bottle away and the glass. Noting how both were empty.
Tim strolled over, and gave a small smile through the mirror, “I’ll brush your hair, Mom. Then you should sleep.” Y/N tried to wave him off, “Don’t bother. I can do it myself. You both should go.” She sluggishly reached out for the vintage decorated paddle brush, only for Tim to snatch it before she could.
“I want to do it. Besides, if it bothers you, think of it as me returning the favor.” The confused look Y/N gave him had him smiling patiently as he stood behind her and gently began to brush the locks of hair. Y/N sighed, “This is embarrassing. My kids should not be taking care of me.”
“I’m an adult.”
“CEO of Wayne Enterprises as well. Taking care of you when you are in a low spot is the least I could do.” Lord knows how many times Y/N has cared for them at their lowest. When Tim believed that Bruce was stuck in the Time Stream, Y/N didn’t seem all that confident in it, but she still believed him and helped him narrow down locations. She kept the press busy while he went out and searched.
He heard later that she refused to talk to Dick when she found out they wanted to put Tim in Arkham. She shook her head in disappointment when Dick told her that Damien is now Robin. Tim always thought Dick was a bit stupid on that part. Parading Damien, a child from another woman, around and in front of Y/N nonetheless. Yes, thankfully Y/N warmed up to Damien and vice versa (although for Damien it took longer), but that could have gone bad in so many ways.
“Still my kids.” Jason pulled a chair next to her, so they could all be in the view of the mirror, and in a rare show of affection that is only reserved for Alfred and Y/N, he rested his head on her shoulder as Tim continued to work the brush carefully through her hair. Y/N’s shoulders sagged and her back hunched a bit, and for the first time in a while, Y/N let herself look how she felt. Exhausted. Utterly and completely exhausted.
Tim can see the dark circles under her red rimmed eyes, and the way her skin looked duller than usual. Granted, she finished a long gig, working tirelessly for months posing, getting dressed up, and traveling around the world to forget Bruce’s infidelity.
‘Standards,’ she said in response to his excuse. Tim isn’t stupid to believe that neither Bruce or Y/N have feelings for the other. He’s seen it. It's in the way that Bruce concedes in arguments, or the flowers and necklaces he buys her when he’s apologetic, how the harsh glare that was directed at Tim when he first became Robin eased the moment Y/N pulled the boy close to her. Acting as a shield and sword for him.
Her message was clear, and Bruce decided to read it.
Y/N on the other hand lessened Bruce’s stress when he was CEO, the breaks from brooding to dance in the main hall to their song, or even acting as the sound of reason for him. She keeps him tethered to Earth, never letting his thoughts stray too far from reality.
They may not be in love, but they still liked each other. Enough so that Bruce went along with her whims, just how she does with him. Enough so for Bruce to chase her across the world. Looking at it, perhaps Bruce was the one in love.
“Jason, can you pass me the scrunchie?” He grabbed the silk scrunchie from large hands, and began braiding his mom’s hair.
“You guys are being so silly,” Y/N huffed, and Jason beamed at her, giving her a boyish smile that he never shows anymore, “Anything for ya, Ma.” She subtly shook her head, a smile on her face as she looked back into the mirror.
“Is this still about Bruce?” Tim kept his eyes on the braid, but from the tension in her shoulders, he hit the jackpot. Y/N brought her hand up to rub her forehead, “That idiot…”
“Join the club, Ma.” Y/N took a deep breath, “He’s so stupid. It’s one thing to kiss another woman, which is fine. Do what you want to do, it’s not like we married for love.” A glare formed on her face, “But to get caught is another thing. Fucking idiot, he can only think with his hormones like a teenager. Even Dami isn’t like that, thank god.”
Tim tied off the braid with the silk scrunchie, watching Y/N get heated again, “I hate him.” Except it was said with no bite, and the way Y/N’s lip wobbled had Tim hearing other words alongside the ones she mumbled. Jason leaned into her, offering her comfort while Tim watched from the reflection in the mirror.
Y/N to Tim was what Janet Drake had failed to be. He learned a lot from both of them, and it helped that both women were huge players in their social circles and socialites. They both taught him how to play with people’s perception of someone. Only Janet taught him to keep a straight face and not show emotion, while Y/N taught him that with a correct smile and a well placed chuckle, someone can be eating out of the palm of their hands. Both women approached the world with different weapons and tools, and both women used and taught them to him.
Only Y/N also knew when it was time to put down the mask and become a reliable person for Tim, while Janet continued to only be Janet to Tim.
He loves them both. Except, with Y/N he felt that if she were to ever leave him the way Janet did then he would have no choice but to follow and bring her back. Wherever Y/N goes, Tim will follow.
“Boys.” Jason and Tim snapped their attention to the door, and Bruce was standing there, menacingly longingly. His face in an unusual expression, but one he’s worn a lot throughout the time Y/N was gone. An expression all the boys have gotten to know. Tim escaped, saying goodnight to both parental figures, before leaving for the cave.
Jason pecked Y/N’s cheek, whispering good night and glaring at Bruce, “Don’t fuck this up old man.” To which Bruce sighed and nodded, closing the door after Jason. For the first time in months, it was just Y/N and Bruce. Alone with each other’s company and Bruce knows that if she could, she’d probably be strangling him right now.
With great hesitancy, one that he could never show as Batman, he sat on the bed about a foot away from her.
“I paused my life for you.” Y/N glared into blue eyes, “I paused almost everything, for you. For your mission. For the children you brought into our home, without asking me about it beforehand, may I remind you. I love them, and don’t you dare twist that, but I would have liked to have been consulted about it first.” Y/N didn’t want to be a mother. It was never in the cards for her, and yet here she is having more children than she had ever dreamt of.
She loves them. She’d die and kill for them, but they were never in the cards of life she wanted dealt to her.
“I paused so much, just for you to go and.. And… and do that.” Bruce winced at that, and Y/N felt happy that he did. Gritting her teeth, Y/N turned her attention to look at the fire. The heat of it reminds her of her own rage and the coldness she feels when in the presence of Bruce.
Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes and bit back a groan, “And once I start getting my life started again, having fun, going on the runway and magazines, here you come storming back.”
“You looked like you needed the break.” Y/N shook her head, “Did you know, that that is one of your worst habits. Always making yourself out to be the hero.” She took a glass of wine and watched the liquid swirl in the glass, “Of course, you let me have that moment. Of course you were thinking of me, and my happiness. How kind of you.”
Bruce sighed, watching her sip the alcohol that left a red stain on her lips. He can remember the first time he saw her in red lipstick. Shockingly, it was in-person and the red made her skin look warm and teeth appear even whiter despite the knowledge that red lipstick can make your teeth look yellower. It was a beautiful shade, matched by her dress.
She was beautiful. Breathtakingly so. Even as time progressed and she and he got older, Y/N remained beautiful. Defying the laws time and age as she remained ethereal. Unfairly so.
Bruce had wanted to preserve that beauty, in the same way that many tried to preserve the flowers from the garden and the expensive smelling perfume. He wanted nothing more than for Y/N to continue smiling and for the fire to remain bright.
To do that, he had to stay away. He could not allow himself to love her, because if he fell then he would drag her through the mud with him. Yet, here he is on the other side of that cold look, one that had him hesitating. That kiss with Selena was terrible timing all around. She had caught him in a moment of weakness, and someone just so happened to be there at the worst moment to catch it all.
Staying away proved to be ineffective when here she is drinking wine with red-rimmed eyes and anger in her brows.
“This marriage was never one for love, but there are standards. Ones we talked about beforehand.”
“I know.” Y/N pursed her lips, tilting her head to the left and watching Bruce with distrustful eyes. The man sighed heavily and he sat in front of her, taking his own glass and pouring himself some wine. He didn’t like this type of wine, and from the very small scrunch in her nose Y/N didn’t like it either.
The more he stared at her, taking in her still youthful features and eyes that burned bright, the more he could feel his emotions rising to the surface. Feelings and emotions he long tried to bury, but never quite succeeded. He had hoped that kissing Selena would just prove that he is only missing her as a sexual partner, and it only confirmed for him that he was in love with her.
He is in love with Y/N L/N-Wayne. His kids are in love with Y/N. Alfred loves Y/N. The whole Wayne family, extended and all, are in love with this woman. This woman has nothing to do with their vigilantism, but instead reminds them that they are also normal and exist outside of masks and costume. That they are human and not shadows of the night.
That they are the Wayne family.
God, he loves her so much. So much. She is his weakness, his strength, his everything. The fancy cufflinks that are only brought out for special occasions, the expensive wine cracked open for celebrations, the pearl earring worn for the best performances. Y/N is the treasure of the Wayne family.
Carefully, he wrapped an arm around her waist, slowly inching his way around her, testing the waters to see if she would shake him off or hiss at him. When there was no sign of that, he tightened his hold only slightly and pressed his forehead into her shoulder, gently laying a kiss on the joint, “Like I said, it was an accident. She caught me at a bad time, and I wasn’t expecting her to do that.”
Y/N released a heavy sigh, and Bruce hugged her tighter, “I swear. It wasn’t consensual.” She rubbed her forehead, and Bruce watched how the lines slowly faded and melted back into her skin. Y/N never wore exhaustion well, which was why on mornings she had early photoshoots, she would sleep in her room instead of Bruce’s. She always woke up when he would stalk in and climb under the sheets with her.
“Please, Y/N. Give me a chance. Let me take care of you the way you should be.” Y/N chuckled at that, “Careful Bruce, keep saying stuff like that and I might start to believe you have feelings for me.” Ice blue met E/C, and Y/N hesitated for a moment. Something chilling going down her spine, “I guess, I should start saying it more often then.”
“Bruce…” He pecked her cheek, careful of the fire he was playing with, and carefully watching her reactions. His arms encircled her tighter, and he kissed her shoulder. Bruce watched, and observed how the tension slowly left her and reluctant acceptance came across her face. His arms tightened, and Bruce fought back a smile.
“Ever the charmer,” She mumbled. Bruce huffed a laugh, and Y/N shook her head, “If I catch you with your mouth on anyone else’s but mine, I’m going to sick the kids on you.” An image of four rabid dogs, followed by a few more, filled his mind. Bruce grimaced as he remembered the tongue lashing he got from everyone, “Noted.”
Y/N chuckled, and Bruce smiled, throwing his weight back on the pillows, bringing Y/N with him. His arms still tight around her waist, and a promise on his lips.
‘I’ll never let you go again.’
________________________________________________
Not super Yandere, but it is getting there.
#yandere batfam#batfam x reader#yandere dc#platonic yandere#batfam#platonic batfam#yandere dick grayson#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere bruce wayne#yandere jason todd
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pairing: logan howlett x reader x wade wilson
rating: E, minors dni, 18+ (mmf threesome; resolved sexual tension; sex pollen; unprotected p in v sex; oral [f receiving]; double penetration)
words: 6.7k
summary: you, logan and wade are on a stakeout after reports of a new drug which only affects mutants. but what happens when you accidentally get a hit of it yourselves…? (the sex pollen fic from the poll! thank you @eupheme for betaing for me, i owe you my life!)
“I spy with my little eye…”
“Wade, I swear to god…” Logan’s voice is a low rumble, a warning.
“Awww c’mon, peanut! What else do we have to do? Indulge me in my childlike whimsy.”
“Let me guess,” you say, shelling a pistachio before throwing it in the air to catch it on your waiting tongue, “you spy something beginning with R-D, which is the rising damp, which is the fourth goddamn time you spied it because there’s nothing else in this fucking place.”
Wade huffs and throws himself back in his chair.
“Killjoy,” he mutters, and goes back to carving obscene doodles into the side table with baby knife.
On the first day you were happy to play along, just to ease the boredom and tension which came hand-in-hand with this arrangement. Now it’s been five of them, stacking on top of each other and getting claustrophobic-heavy, the three of you crowded into each other’s space and on the razor’s edge.
Something is going to break, and you’re worried it’ll be Wade’s nose under Logan’s fist.
What a stupid fucking mission. You should never have said yes.
Ever since the whole Void situation was resolved you, Logan and Wade have been X-Men adjacent. Not part of the group exactly but happy to play along if needed. This most recent assignment had been a request from Piotr - there was something going on downtown to do with trafficking drugs which affected mutants, and someone needed to keep an eye on it. Couldn’t be anyone from the mansion, they’re all hands on deck at the moment keeping an influx of kids in check. But the three of you? With no jobs between you and an urge to do good?
It was a problem with an obvious solution.
It’s a stakeout. Which means sitting and waiting and holy fuck is it boring.
You can tell something is going on in the alley across the street but you’ve had strict instructions not to take action until you see the guy in charge: thickset man with a penchant for misdeeds and built like a brick shithouse. Once you have proof he’s involved, you’ll get the go-ahead to close in and shut the place down in whatever manner you see fit.
But until he comes in, your little trio has no choice but to stay put, watching petty criminals come and go with no idea they’re being monitored.
Life has revolved around watches from the dingy window. Usually two of you will stay up while one of you tries to get some sleep on one of the uncomfortable twin beds that have been provided, but it isn’t easy to drift off when it feels like the mattresses are made of cinder blocks stuffed with broken glass. It isn’t that you’re unused to being in each others’ spaces - if you’re not at their apartment they’re at yours, after all, you are friends - but this is different. You have the luxury of walking away from each other in normal day-to-day life when things gets too much. Here? Here, you’re stuck until you’re done with the job. You’re all tired, irritated, and desperate for entertainment. You’ve even considered chopping off your own hand to watch it grow back, just for something to do.
And the thing is that’s not the worst of it. Ever since the three of you returned from the Void there’s been something there. Something difficult to pin down, exactly. A niggling little feeling worming its way through your body. Something which thrums every time Wade flexes the muscles in his hand and you see his long, strong fingers; every time Logan grits his jaw and the tendons in his neck throb.
Oh, right. You sort of really want to fuck them both.
You don’t go through something that traumatic and not have deep-rooted feelings which surpass normal boundaries. You fought for each others’ lives. You’re bonded in a way people rarely are. And the more time you spend with them the blurrier the lines between platonic and fucking soulmate become. You’ve seen both of them stare at you - and each other - when they think you’re not looking, so you’re sure this isn’t something that only you are harbouring. It’s a secret desire harboured by all three of you.
Like you said, something is gonna break. And in this shitty little surveillance room? It’s gonna break soon.
A movement outside. The three of you sit forward to take a look at the evening’s street view, only to fall back into your chairs as it turns out to be a false alarm. Just a pedestrian walking by. You’re going to go insane.
You drum your fingers on your thighs just to keep them busy, then turn to Logan.
“You got a smoke?”
He cocks a brow at you.
“You want a cigar?”
“Nothing else to fucking do.”
“Whoa, hey!” says Wade, putting his hand on Logan’s arm as he roots around in his jacket pocket, “No no no, you quit last year! Don’t start up bad habits again unless I’m the one convincing you to, pookie.”
“Wade, c’mon. I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t have something to do,” you groan. Plus, really, you’d kinda like something to suck on, just to relieve some of the ache in your belly.
As if Wade can hear your thoughts he pipes up again.
“Well if you’re that desperate to use your mouth, I know what we could play to pass the time…”
You and Logan groan in unison, and he balls his fist in a way which suggests it’s not long until the claws come out. Wade holds up his hands to signify peace.
“Whoa, chill out, honeybadger. No need to get scratchy. You don’t have to join in if you don’t want to… but it’s more fun the more people there are.”
Accepting there’s nothing else to pass the time, Logan lets out a long, exhausted sigh and lets Wade continue.
The mercenary licks his lips as if, for once, considering his phrasing. Then blurts out what he wanted to say anyway.
“We could play blowjob roulette.”
It was a foolish time to take a drink of your soda, because you spurt it out your nose. After a moment of mopping yourself up with your sleeve you manage a, “what?!”
“Well, oral roulette I guess, if we’re being PC about it.”
“Oh my god,” Logan groans, getting to his feet and stomping into the tiny excuse for a kitchenette, grabbing a beer and opening it with such gusto that the cap bounces off an adjacent wall.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything! We just spin the bottle and whoever it ends up pointing out deals out a round of Australian kisses for the other players. Relieves the boredom, and it’s fun to see how long everyone lasts.”
Your mouth is open, you’re sure of it. You’re looking at Wade in abject horror. This has got to just be part of his stupid bravado, right? Making an ill-timed joke?
Because the other option is he’s serious.
Logan drinks. You stare. Wade rabbits on.
“I’m just saying we used to play it at Sister Margaret’s all the time, when we were waiting for new marks to come in and didn’t have anything better to do! It wasn’t gay or anything except for, you know, the rampant homoeroticism of slurping everyone’s gherkin.”
“Did you… did you ever have to do it?” you ask, morbid fascination taking over. He scoffs.
“Did I ever have to… pookie, I’ve taken more loads than my building’s washing machine. Yeah, I’d say I’m pretty fucking great at it.”
He’s staring at you with an intensity which makes you feel like you’re on fire, but from embarrassment or enthusiasm you’re not sure.
“So?” he asks, quietly, putting a hand on your knee. Your body burns. You swallow. You look to Logan.
He sighs. Finishes his beer, but in a way which suggests he’s giving in. You see the way Logan’s teeth touch his bottom lip. The start of a fricative.
He’s going to say fine.
Movement out of the window. You bolt up, knocking Wade’s hand away. He deflates.
“Aww. But I really wanted to - ”
“No, guys - look!”
They quickly crowd you, following where you point. A huge man walks into the alleyway, flanked by underlings, the bulk of him taking up the small space.
“There’s our guy,” you say, “let’s go.”
You descend upon the alleyway in a flash of swords and claws. You tug your cowl up over your nose to protect your face, hand on one of your Brügger & Thomet MP9s as the three of you come face-to-face with the door you’ve been monitoring all week.
“So are we going in sneaky style, or—”
Logan rips the door off its hinges, throwing it down the length of the alley; he is desperate to be done with this. You exchange a look with Wade.
“Okiedokie, asked and answered I guess,” he sighs, grabbing his Desert Eagles from his holsters.
You both follow Logan who’s thrown himself into the middle of the lab claws-first. Two-thirds of the people scream and flee, the others stand their guard and grab their guns.
Fingers on triggers, you take a beat to examine the situation.
Equipment everywhere. Beakers and cylinders you can possibly guess the use for, set up on desks and synthesising something nasty. The boss is standing in the middle of the room, eyebrow cocked and mild annoyance plastered on his face. Bingo. You make a beeline for him, taking a couple of bullets in your flank as you go.
“Cover me!” you shout to Wade. He pulls his katana out of a guy’s head and throws you a bloodied thumbs-up.
“Got your back, pookie! Hate to see you leave, love to watch you spill entrails as you go!”
As if he was predicting your next action, you whip your knife out of your belt and stab it in an assailant’s belly, watching his warm guts slide onto the floor. He releases a strangled noise as he drops to his knees - you make a move to continue on your way to the boss only to feel someone pick you up.
“Shit!” you mutter as you’re hoisted into the air. Wade and Logan stop their onslaught to turn at the sound of your panic, their eyes both going wide as they see you restrained. With a twinned shout of your name they come running to help.
Aww, your boys. It’d be cute if you weren’t bracing yourself for the pain.
Your attacker launches you across the room. A couple of seconds go by as you fly through the air - and then into a table full of test tubes and pipettes.
A great cloud rises into the air. A cloud of spores?
Before you can get a chance to properly read the situation, Wade and Logan are at your side. Sturdy hands grasp around your forearms and you’re dragged to your feet.
Of course, it goes unnoticed…but all three of you take in a deep breath.
“You okay, baby?” rasps Logan.
“Yeah, I’m f— move!” you scream, shouldering him out of the way so you can sink your knife into the neck of the man about to spray bullets down his spine. As you rip through the soft skin at his throat something occurs to you.
‘Baby’? Where did that come from?
Not that it isn’t nice, obviously, but… it’s unlike Logan to show that much tenderness ever. Especially with pet names.
Oh well, no time to dwell.
Picking bits of glass from your biceps you tank a punch from a man closing in on your left, parry his next couple of blows, then shoot him in the dick. Wade has called this a ‘low blow’ before which isn’t incorrect but honestly, there’s no time for fighting fair when it’s 3-versus-30.
The boss has finally gotten involved. A pair of brass knuckles shines against his fist as he swings at Logan, a meaty crack filling the air in a way which you’re worried might actually have dented one of your friend’s ribs. Wade uses the distraction to stab a katana into the guy’s back, then another one a little further up - using him like a goddamn climbing wall. The boss roars like an animal and attempts to swat him off but there’s no use. His massive bulk is working against him, and Wade can be a fast little motherfucker when he wants to be.
Wade lets out a ‘peekaboo!’ as he pops up over the boss’s shoulder, pressing his pistol into the meat of his neck and firing. Blood sprays across the floor but somehow the guy doesn’t stop, not even when Logan picks himself back up and sinks both his claws into his stomach; it only elicits another snarl.
Okay, time to close.
You sheath your guns and go back to your knife, using Logan as a launchpad as you throw yourself off the arch of his back and into the air - stabbing down into the boss’s skull with a dull thunk.
A line of blood dribbles out of his mouth. He starts to fall.
“Uh oh - call me Ke$ha, because I’m yelling timber!” Wade warns. With a snarl Logan rips his claws free from muscle, snatching you off of the boss’s corpse as he stumbles forward under his own weight. Pulling you free you both lose your footing, and you crash down onto your friend.
You look at Logan.
He looks at you.
Suddenly, his hands clasp around your hips. Probably you move you off of him…
And then you’re on fire.
Like gasoline has made a line from his touch to your cunt, everything in you is set ablaze. Your pussy clenches and you’ve never felt so empty before - or at least not so aware of it.
There is a cock-shaped hole and it’s begging to be filled.
You expect Logan to freak out, you’re freaking out - you never thought you had a murder kink but you guess you’re never too old to find out something new about yourself - but he doesn’t.
Instead you just see him furrow his brow as if processing something; then acknowledge the press of his hardening cock rub against your thigh as he bucks up into you.
Oh no. Something is wrong.
When you feel Wade grab your shoulder and haul you back to your feet it’s the same, that delicious burning sensation rocketing through you… and from the way he moans as soon as his hands are on you, the feeling is mutual.
“Fuck. Fuck,” he breathes. Yeah. You want to, that’s the issue.
You stagger away from him with wide eyes and electric skin, a beat passing between the three of you as the people left in the lab decide to give up the fight now their boss is toast. Hearts racing, hands wanting to reach out and touch.
Logan is the one to break the silence.
“We should call in and let the others know we’re done,” he manages. You nod.
“Yeah. Can we… can we go back across the street? I don’t feel so good.”
“Oh, don’t you go Spider-Man Infinity War Part 1 on me,” Wade chuckles. You don’t have the energy to work out what he’s referencing, especially when a jolt goes through your body to your cunt when you feel his eyes meet yours.
Damn. This is bad.
“Yeah. Of course, honey,” Logan manages. He goes to put his hand on the small of your back and then thinks better of it, though you can feel its nearness like a magnetic pull. You almost moan when he retracts his touch instead. Wade whips his phone out and fires off a message to let someone know a cleanup crew is needed as you stagger out of the alleyway and back across the street.
You didn’t bother closing the door when you ran out, too desperate to monopolise on the chance of getting your mark. The three of you tumble back into the room you’d been dying to get out of just a scant few minutes ago, relieved to be in the privacy of its confines again.
A moment passes as all three of you adjust to the feeling coursing through your bodies.
“What’s happening?” you breathe, bracing your hands on the back of your go-to wooden chair and breaking it with the force of your grip. You wince at the sound of splintering, blood dripping down your palms before you feel it heal over.
“I’ve not felt like this since I first discovered how easy it was to masturbate to Good Housekeeping,” Wade groans, whipping off his mask as he flops down onto the battered-up-couch. Logan has made his way to the fridge again, practically ripping its door off to get to a beer which he downs in one swig. Fuck. It’s so sexy. You want to lick the muscles in his neck.
“It’s a pollen,” he states, voice rocky in a way which goes straight to the burning pit of your stomach. You and Wade exchange a look and then turn to him, waiting for further explanation. “Only has a reaction in mutants. Charles said it was something about putting the id into overdrive, like a fuckin’ adrenaline shot to the libido.”
“It… it makes you aroused?” you manage, attempting not to rock your cunt into the palm of your hand. Logan grunts.
“Was trying to be more tactful, but yeah, honey. That’s the idea.”
Honey. The pet name once again goes down your spine.
“Fucking sorry,” says Wade, “someone was manufacturing this stuff as a drug for what? To make mutants too horny to fight?”
Logan shrugs, still not tearing his gaze from his empty bottle, as if to agree it’s his best guess. Wade’s head falls back against the sofa’s arm.
“I mean, damn, they could have just shown me any frame from Magic Mike XXL and it would have had the same result. Seems like a lot of effort.”
Something about the way Logan talks sticks out to you, you circle back around to it.
“Logan, you seem to know a lot about this stuff… have you encountered it before?”
Another beer grabbed and chugged down, the forward hunch in his shoulders physical evidence of his walls raising.
“Once. Back in the day with the other X-Men.”
“How did you get through it? Does it go away?”
Logan doesn’t reply. Drinks.
The unspoken answer sinks in.
“Oh my god, you had to fuck it out, didn’t you?” gasps Wade. Logan doesn’t even growl. Jesus Christ he’s right. “Who was it? Storm? Beast? By the love of all things 100k+ enemies-to-lovers-slowburn, tell me it was Cyclops.”
Logan doesn’t dignify him with an answer, instead putting the empty bottle down with enough force you’re surprised it doesn’t shatter.
“It’ll pass. I just need to sit it out,” he reasons, the grit in his jaw suggesting this isn’t the optimal solution. You feel your eyebrows tug together, a crease of concern settling between them.
“But…”
“I’ll be fine.” The way he says it, he’s trying to convince himself more than anyone. With the room in the air practically throbbing he heads to the bedroom, leaving you and Wade alone.
Holy shit. You and Wade are alone.
Your eyes wander over to him, to find his gaze is already resting heavy on you. Your skin lights up.
“So, uh,” he starts, shifting himself awkwardly where his hard-on is trapped in his suit, “you read any good books lately?”
That does help to alleviate the tension and you find yourself chuckling, only for the relief to be ablated when your empty pussy pulses. You whine.
“Wade…”
As soon as you say his name he’s rushing over to you, helping you sit down on the ruined chair. You both moan as hot skin slides against hot skin.
“Look, it isn’t…” you groan as you slide your hand up his bicep. Fuck, he’s strong. “...it isn’t a crazy idea to help each other out, right? We’re friends. It’s just two friends giving each other a hand…”
Wade dips down to run the bridge of nose along the line of your jaw, letting his lips drop to the pulse in your neck.
“Just friends…” he mutters. You buck up into nothing. Oh, god. You’re going to die here. “Baby?”
Oh shit, oh fuck. You want him to call you that over and over again, stamp it into your fucking mind.
“Yeah?” you reply, the word ripped rawly from your throat.
“I wanted to do this before we even left this goddamn apartment, you think I might have changed my mind after the mutant viagra?”
He pulls back just enough for you to see the seriousness on his face. No, he’s not joking, not saying something dirty just because he thinks it’s funny.
He’s saying it because it’s true, and it’s both thrilling and terrifying.
“Can I?”
Oh, it’s so tempting to say yes yes yes… but the more tempting thing is to tease him. Just a little.
You hook your leg over his shoulder and he groans as you dig your heel into the muscle of his back. He groans loud and long.
“Wade?”
“Mmm?”
“Ask me properly.”
His breath hitches in his throat, and you’re pretty sure he’s making a mess in his suit.
“Fuck, can I eat you out, baby? Please?”
You nod so fast you fear you’ll break your neck.
Wade lifts you like you weigh fucking nothing at all, strong arms scooping you up and bringing you to the couch - desperate for more space. His hands move quick and roughly as he goes to the pants on your suit, so wracked with need his fingers shake just from the promise of getting to touch you properly. You help him as much as you can, toeing off your boots and helping him tug your underwear off along with your waistband. His eyes widen as he realises your panties are in his hands. He takes a moment to run his thumb over the cotton of them and he fucking moans. Oh, god damn it, you’re going to be fucking ruined.
“Fuck. Never seen a pussy look this good,” he breathes as he finds himself face-to-face with your dripping cunt. You’re already so wet that it’s embarrassing and, while it would be easy enough to blame on the pollen, you know that you’ve wanted this for months. When he drags his tongue up your puffy, desperate folds, you pretty much combust.
“Oh shit,” you groan, wrapping your other leg round his face to hold him flush against you - not that Wade needs any convincing though, because you’ve never seen a man so desperate to fuck you with his mouth before. He buries himself in you, scarred hands reaching up to dig into the soft skin of your thighs and keep you steady. He wants you at his own pace, it seems, and is strong enough to make it happen. Fuck, you are not complaining.
Wade’s eyes flit upwards to see how you’re reacting as he moves his whole face side to side to bury himself into your cunt deeper. It’s like he’s trying to find where your scent is the strongest and, honestly? With what you’ve heard about this pollen stuff? Seems right on track. He has no hair for you to bury your fingers in so instead you press your hand to the top of his head and pull him closer, because god knows you don’t have the ability to vocalise it. You sink your fingernails in so he knows, though.
Holy hell you’ve never felt so good. The pollen is heightening everything, each movement he makes into you shooting shockwaves through your nerves. Wade’s tongue is insistent in exploring every inch of you, pressing bluntly into your clit; lapping at the wetness seeping from you like he’ll die if he can’t taste what he’s doing to you; dragging down to your ass and toying with you there, too. Yes, fuck, anything he goddamn wants. When his teeth skim the needy folds of your cunt you jackknife into his mouth, almost breaking them clean out of his gums.
“Holy shit, babe. What’s gotten into you?” he chuckles, pupils so blown wide with lust that his eyes are eclipsed with black. You chase after him with your hips.
“Not you, and that’s the problem,” you harrumph. He grins and you see how covered with your slick he is and fuck you are going to die here.
“I’ll take care of you. That’s what friends do, right?” he asks, putting emphasis on the word you’re both masquerading behind. When you reach out with a searching hand he threads his finger through yours wordlessly, using the other to grab a pillow so he has something to fuck up against. You feel a tiny bit bad for not offering to help but you know he’ll get his in time - in fact just thinking about sucking his cock your mouth begins to water.
He presses his palm into yours as he goes back to your cunt with his mouth. It takes only moments for him to start up his desperate pace again, tongue sinfully sweet, and you’re chasing and chasing…
Stars explode in your vision and in your blood. The noise you let out is feral, a euphony of pleasure and you don’t care who hears. Wade’s eyes drift close as he tastes your orgasm directly at his lips, drinking you down. You’re certain his hips stutter as he comes just from getting you off. Oh god it’s so hot.
Oh god, you’re not done.
Wade surges up your body and kisses you ferociously, you moan at the taste of yourself he gives back.
“Fuck, yes, do you taste that, baby? What did I do to you? Holy fuck you are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen…”
“Wade, I need you.”
“Yeah, fuck, okay. Let me get this stupid sexy suit off…”
Hands begin to fumble messily, needily at each other’s zippers in order to strip. You sit up to get a better handle on him—
And freeze when you see you have an audience.
Wade follows your gaze to where Logan is standing in the bedroom doorway. He’s managed to get his suit off and change back into his jeans, though you can’t imagine he’ll want to stay in them for long the way his trapped cock is staining dark blue denim even darker. He’s gripping the doorframe with such force that his claws have popped out, eyes a matching pitch black to Wade’s, chest heaving as he watches the show.
“You okay, honey badger?” Wade drawls, a cocky smile dragging across him. Logan grunts. Swallows hard. You go for a softer tactic.
“Logan, sweetheart, you wanna join in?” your voice is husky as you ask, oh so inviting. Logan squeezes his eyes shut and his fist tight, taking a chunk out of the wall.
“Get into the goddamn bedroom, both of you,” he growls. The two of you absolutely do not need to be told twice. Partially undressed you vault over the back of the dishevelled sofa, letting Logan lead the way. As soon as you’re within arms’ reach he snags you around the waist and pulls you in for a kiss.
Logan kisses like he wants to devour you. Rough, commanding, dragging his tongue into your mouth as if trying to claim you. Oh, you’ll let him a hundred times over. You mewl when his hand reaches down you cup your still dripping pussy, immediately swiping a thumb against your clit. It pulses as if Wade didn’t just pull an orgasm out of you.
“Fuckin’ needy little thing,” he snarls, delighted. You reach down to grab the bulge he’s rocking, squeezing hard enough to get him to groan.
“Look who’s talking,” you chuckle. He taps at the top of your suit, an instruction.
“Off,” he says, but that’s as much as he gets to say, because Wade grabs him by the beard and steers him in for a kiss. You pause for just a second to see what will happen but clearly you needn’t have worried - Logan moans into your friend’s mouth, grabbing a handful of Wade’s pretty decent ass and digging in his fingers. While they’re busy you finish stripping, going for the zipper on the back of the red suit and pulling it down. It’s such a goddamn stupid design having it at the back like a goddamn prom dress - but at the moment you’re kinda thankful for it because it means you get to kiss along the revealed plain of skin. Wade has such beautiful fucking back muscles, you’ve stared at them for long enough to memorise every damned one.
He steps out of the suit when you get to his feet - yeah, he did come just from eating you out earlier and holy fuck are you proud - and lets out a strangled noise when you bite the meat of his asscheek hard enough to leave a mark.
“Fuck, are you gonna rim me? Because if so I’m a thousand percent down,” he chokes, pulling away from Logan’s mouth and leaving a string of spit between them, evidence of a messy kiss. You shrug.
“You want me to, baby?”
Wade seems to have a crisis of faith as he considers this, letting Logan nibble down the length of his neck; eventually he shakes his head though.
“No, I wanna be inside you, like, yesterday,” he confesses.
“I’ve got enough room for two,” you state, so absolutely sure the pollen will accommodate that you don’t even need to think about it. Both Wade and Logan suck in a breath at that idea.
“Fuck, baby, aren’t you just perfect,” Logan drawls, grabbing you by the hips as you stand up and pulling you to the pathetic twin bed this apartment was provided with. Not how you wanted this first time to go down but hey, at least it’s going down at all. No longer just a dirty fantasy you bury your fingers into your cunt imagining but a real bonafide liaison (boner-fide liaison, Wade’s voice in your head pipes up).
You paw at his jeans, desperate to have all three of you naked and ready. There’s nothing to hide between you any more. Any boundaries have been not only crossed but decimated, absolutely destroyed beyond repair, and you couldn’t be happier. When his cock falls heavy into your palm you can’t help but suck air in through your teeth at its sheer size. Logan chuckles, gravelly and tempting.
“Oh it’ll fit, baby,” he coos, as if reading your mind. Fuck. Yep, it will. There’s no two ways about it. You’re having both Wade and Logan inside you if it kills you.
He wraps you in his arms before you can have any more thoughts on the matter and pulls you down onto the mattress with him, the pollen in your veins making you feel every touch like the end of a live wire - yet you keep coming back to get shocked. Logan positions himself under you, chest-to-chest, grinning at the way your nipples rub against the coarse and gorgeous hair of his chest. There’s a slapping noise and you realise it’s Wade’s hand on Logan’s thigh, encouraging him to move up the bed.
“Big boy, you know you have to scoot up if this is happening. I’m all for fucking the same pussy together but you have to be realistic…”
Obscured by your body, only you get to see the way Logan rolls his eyes fondly at Wade’s blabbering. He manouveurs you both to allow Wade room to kneel on the mattress behind you and you gasp at the feeling of their cocks bullying at your entrance.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, body on fire and desperate to be extinguished by them. Logan hums in your ear.
“I know, baby, I know. We’ll take care of you.”
“And each other. I got sex-pollened too, old man,” Wade harrumphs, rubbing his head against the slick lips of your cunt.
“Nobody’s forgetting you, princess,” he murmurs, “now be good and put me inside.”
Logan probably misses the soft hiss Wade lets out at that, but you feel the way the mercenary’s hand wraps around his cock and presses Logan to your empty cunt. You moan in pleasure as he follows the path Wade has laid out and pushes himself inside of you, no resistance given. It takes you only a couple of seconds to adjust to the pure size of him. Holy shit, if this were any other time you’d be falling apart by now, but the way your body pumps with desperation suggests one dick alone isn’t going to be enough.
“You okay?” Logan rumbles by your ear. You cling onto him for dear life, nodding.
“Yeah. Fuck, Wade, I know you’ll fit, you’ve gotta fuck me too.”
Wade doesn’t even have an answer for that. Instead you feel his thumb tug at your lips, stretching you for him - or just watching the way Logan fills you, getting off on the filthy way you’re plugged. Another cock begins to press at your already stuffed hole and you whine.
“S’okay, I gotcha,” Logan says through gritted teeth as he feels Wade’s length slide along his own, the feeling almost overwhelming for him. You drop your head to his shoulder and choke on your own spit as Wade forces himself inside of you. Your cunt feels like it is about to burst into flames in the most satisfying way possible, flowering open between them both.
“Fuck, never felt anything so goddamn tight in my life…” Wade manages. Eventually he bottoms out alongside Logan, both of them sitting snugly inside of you, sharing you, clutched in your warmth.
“There we go,” Logan growls. “You okay, baby?”
Not knowing if the question is aimed at you or Wade you both whine a yes. Logan laughs and you feel his chest move beneath you, all muscle and heat.
“I’m gonna move now.”
He drags himself out of you, inch by glorious inch, like a match striking against a box and sparking an ember. A deep ragged breath shudders through you at the feeling of it but it is nothing compared to how he slams back inside. Lights flood your periphery. You are going to fucking die between these two men and that is fine. Heaven, even.
Once Wade feels Logan’s rhythm it is too much of a competition for him not to match it. The mercenary’s arms fall either side of your bodies to support himself as he works himself in and out of you, sliding deep as Logan retreats to the tip. Your cunt makes a lewd noise as they piston inside of you and you have never cared about anything less in your life. You are bathed in light, high off this, euphoric over being fucked. A tiny rivulet of drool falls from the edge of your mouth into Logan’s chest hair and he curses at the glorious rawness of it all.
Above you, Wade has finally found his voice again.
“Look at you taking us so well. Oh, fuck, goddamn. I’ve wanted you like this for so long. Remember when we were neighbours, honey? Those guys who you used to bring home… fuck, baby… I used to give myself the old low-five to the sound of you getting fucked…”
You make a pathetic little noise which spurs him onwards. Wade’s mouth drops to your ear.
“...and I used to get angry because I knew I could do it better myself.”
“Oh my god Wade…” you whisper. Tears are beginning to pool in your eyes at the way you’re starting to get overstimulated, two cocks hitting that sweet spot inside you verges on being too much. Were the pollen not still in full force you’re sure you’d need to tap out.
“And you?” Wade’s hand grips Logan’s bicep, squeezing appreciatively. “Do you know what it’s like to wake up every morning and see you shirtless on my couch, and not be able to fuck you? You do it on purpose, peanut, I swear…”
Logan chuckles again, that deep honey-rich sound eked out in magnitudes.
“And what if I do, Red?”
Wade pauses in his thrusting, you don’t have to see him to know that his eyes are wide.
“Wait, what? For real?”
“Wade!” you whine, reaching over to slap at his arm, annoyed that he’s stopped moving. “Can we all just agree we’ve gotten off to the thought of each other and we’d have fucked eventually anyway?”
The men either side of you seem to think it’s a good compromise to come to and redouble their efforts. All you can do is to cling onto whatever muscles you’re able to find and ride the wave of pleasure. Fireworks go off in your synapses, brain a messy goo of euphoria, cunt fucked out and thoroughly taken care of.
They speed up, thrusts getting messy and arrhythmic and yet still somehow matching, and you know that they’re going to come together. What a fucking treat, how divine, oh god. Logan’s hands sink into your ass to keep you anchored as his cock goes faster, skin slapping on skin as his sac moves against Wade’s - causing the merc to let out a string of curses - and you’re suddenly flooded with his warm, sticky cum pumping inside you in jets. Wade whines at the feeling of himself being doused and follows Logan’s lead. The filthy cocktail of them drips around both their lengths and out of your hole, falling onto the pathetic mattress below. One last little nudge of the hips is all it takes to push you over the edge again. Your next orgasm is dragged out of you… but you know your body will demand more.
For now, though, respite. The urge to reach that peak again immediately has at least settled for the moment.
“Holy fuck,” you sigh. Logan hums an affirmative note, fingers playing with the small of your back as Wade peppers kisses across your shoulderblades.
“We should go on stakeouts more often, if this is the nice little bow everything gets tied up in,” Wade sighs, dreamily. You nod against Logan’s chest. His hair rubs your cheek deliciously. Your pussy throbs again, reminding you this dirty escapade needs to continue soon. “So what does this mean? Are we a little mutant charcuterie now?”
Your brow furrows as you try to parse what Wade has just said.
“Oh. Wade, baby, do you mean ‘coterie’?”
Logan bursts out laughing, a noise you’ve never properly heard before, and it has you grinning - and Wade, too, even though he grumbles a little at being corrected. Their cocks jostle inside you and you feel them getting hard again and, as you prepare yourself for round two, it’s nice to know that whatever the three of you face at the end of this will be happy.
Three days later, you’re laid across the couch, head in Wade’s lap and legs in Logan’s, all tangled together as you get the single worst telling-off of your life.
“Non-lethal mission, Wade! How many times did I have to tell you, it was meant to be non-lethal!” Piotr shouts down the line. Wade grimaces.
“Look, there were other things we had to sort out first, okay? We kinda forgot about the no-killing part. Besides the guy can’t traffic drugs if he’s dead,” he confesses. You can picture Piotr’s disappointed face.
“Other things!? WHAT other things, Wade?!”
“Okay so there was this horny pollen, and we all had to—”
Logan grabs Wade’s phone and hurls it across the room. It shatters into pieces against the wall. Wade gawps.
“Hey! That was new! Well, okay, not new, but it wasn’t cracked. Well, it was cracked, but it had all my best dick pics on there!”
“You can take new ones,” Logan states.
You smile. Yeah. The charcuterie is nice.
#my writing#james logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x reader#logan x reader#wolverine x reader#x men x reader#logan howlett imagine#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#marvel fanfiction#mcu fanfiction#mcu imagine#wolverine fanfiction#mcu fandom#Deadpool x reader#wade wilson x reader#deadpool x reader x wolverine#wolverine x reader x deadpool
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to you, my greatest passion (soft yandere! batfam x traumatized! reader oneshot)
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
tw: allusions to stockholm syndrome, flawed relationship (they have no concept of boundaries) and mild descriptions of injuries and torture (not by the batfam). read until the end for an author's note. happy 4k followers to me :)) uh leave comments if u like this type of analysis and want to see more. i had no direction for writing this. please don't let this flop huhu i might delete this since i don't like it
as much as i love my angst, we all need something soft at times, and moments with yan!batfam with a reader who is absolutely fucking broken from their past that the mere implication that someone could love them is enough to let them melt into whoever's chest they lay upon that night.
just, hurt/comfort. one that heals the soul in its overly possessive embrace. the same way chapped lips peck softly on your cheeks, muscled arms caress your fragile, shivering body, and legs tangle upon yours in a cacophony of warm, cozy blankets.
where as the longer time passes in the manor, the more you learn to love. to let go of the painful memories your tormenters left you. to allow past scars to heal into a mere visage of what once was streaks coated in blood. your family acts as your new abductors, yes, but how could you hold your freedom against them when it is them that comfort you from drowning through the deepest depths of your nightmares?
nightmares of the past, of the knives that break through your already gashed skin, or the ropes that burn through bruises and laceration— every time you wake up crying, with tears running down your cheeks and a pained cry; a recollection of the torture you were subject to, it is them that come running to your room not a moment after.
it's bruce's tall, domineering form that crumbles into soft, snug pillows for you. your father arms that punches criminals into prison become the shoulder you lean on. calloused fingers rub your cheeks, wiping away your tears, holding your face in his palms like you're the most fragile thing on earth— and you are. every time he looks at your dampened eyes and sniffling nose, he gets reminded of how lonely he was as a child, who lost his parent too young to the cruelty of the world, of gotham and her unyielding coldness. and when he reminisces, he begins to cage you in his arms a tad bit tighter, begins to comfort you longer and softer than he has ever done with anyone else, as if he is reassuring himself. it is with you that his vulnerability, that fear of loss becomes all too stronger. and every time you cry a bit longer, your hold on his sleeves becoming unyielding, does bruce become crueler in his pursuit of fighting crime, a lesson to himself that the people he punishes are those with hands capable enough to harm you, his precious, his pearl that glints throughout the moonlight.
whenever your father is unavailable, it's dick who runs to you, with all the intention to provide you comfort. it's him who calls you his baby bird, as he reassures you that you're no burden in his eyes every time you scream in terror as your sleep. it's him who loves to drown you in his affection, always near, always close, never far and never too much. physically, he's the most doting to a fault. tender, yet tight were his hugs. his kisses to your cheeks and your forehead always linger, as if hesitant to release itself from its rightful place. it's a testiment to how much he loves you, how he's incapable of separating himself from you. god, he loves you so much he wishes he'd just melt right into your skin, so that you actually finally realize how you're the most important thing in the world to him. you, his baby bird. if he had met you sooner, quite earlier, right after his parent's have died, then maybe he could've managed his anger better, could've learned to cope with you through the battles you both fought. it's with you that dick feel unbearably euphoric, ready to spill his love to the point where tears consume his eyes and his head laid on your chest refuses to detach itself.
jason isn't familiar with what warmth feels like, not anymore. but when he sees your hapless state, he sees a reflection of himself in that abandoned warehouse. broken, defiled, hurt. with nothing to comfort you from the cold other than the ropes that burn through your skin and the adrenaline that runs through your veins. he forgots what solace feels like, what it means, but through your shared trauma does jason learn. he learns to talk to you, with you, learns to pinpoint each and every emotion he felt at the time, what you felt inside that putrid basement. he learns to manage his grief because he doesn't want to anger himself looking at you, at just how much justice can only serve so many. the longer you talk to jason, the more he becomes softer, yet hungrier. he learns how to hold you in a way a brother learns to hold his baby sibling for the first time when conceived. he relearns the warmth he felt, like when he was finally able to be good enough to be the successor to the title of robin, when he felt you drool on his chest when you trusted him enough to sleep in his room. yet this time that feeling was accompanied with that ominous, distracting essence. one that makes jason's knuckles crack and have him prepare his guns, as he discovers that you can never truly erase the past. and even though it might take years for him to be your ideal brother, he could at least be your sole protector.
then there's tim, who never truly had the opportunity to develop that deeper sense of love he wanted to feel until he was officially adopted into the wayne family right after his parents' death. don't get him wrong, he loves his mom and dad, and so does he loves his current family— but it's obsession that drives him nonetheless. the need to prove himself, to gather information about everyone to know who they truly are; beyond that there's nothing more than shallowness, a neverending hole he can't satisfy. but with you? oh god, you. to tim, you're his everything. you devour his being whole. with you, there's always something new. the need to track every single thing about you leads him into this cycle of want and need that coagulates into desire, into drive. every time you smile, or laugh, or frown, he gains newer intel about you, one he loops into the deepest crevices of his brain at a constant, you are his constant. but staying right behind you can only do so much. and as he sits right beside you in bed, awkwardly comforting you through the ways he mirrored off from his brothers: a sloppy kiss to your knuckles, a joke cracked here and there, and wiping your eyes and nose with his sleeves; tim learns that stalking can only do so much. he learns what it feels like to be needed for emotional connection and nothing else and that only further motivates him to be perfect for you, and to be with you, his sibling, more often than to simply live right under your nose.
and damian, your baby brother, who's unsurprisingly the one who sleeps in your room, or has you sleep in his room, the most. damian tells himself he's incapable of love, of showing it or reciprocating it. but for you, he tries, and like jason, he learns. he discovers just how depraved both of you are when it comes to love. it enlightens you both and it makes damian feel a deeper sense of connection with you than anyone else. with you, he feels like a child: vulnerable, yet uncaring and free, like the true meaning of being a robin, one the soars through the skies with no grandfather or mother or league to watch your every step as their successor. all the times you cry, he silently sobs with you, holding your cheeks down to his level with scarred palms. silent, yet comforting, he'd allow his smaller form to simply become your teddy bear whilst he whispers consolations. about how strong his older sibling is, how precious you are for being comfortable with him to speak of your problems, how you're everything to damian just as he wishes to be the world for you. it makes you think you're more immature that him, it makes him grateful that he has you. even though he doesn't say it, he shows through actions just how truly important you are whenever he draws a sword towards his enemies, thinking about you and his unsaid promises.
nights where you're reminded of that solitary confinement, of the darkness that creeps into your vision and the voices that pierce through your ears. nights where you feel you've exhausted yourself of hope, where what was once warmth that hugs your heart is now that frigid, yet burning spikes that penetrates into the confidence that you'll somehow, someday, run away from that hellhole— those were nights you thought you'd never live with proper sleep. but as one or two of them holds you in their embrace whenever your nightmares consume your being, you're slowly allowing your established walls to fall apart, all for the mere implication of their love.
who would save you, if not for them? their hushed whispers of consolation, hands that wrap around your figure, and fingers that knead your cheeks provide you that deep sated comfort you always wanted. the sleeves they use to wipe away both saltine liquid and snot, to slowly silence your blubbering rambles, your inconsolable crying; it's warmer than the basement you used to be locked in as a child, with dripping faucets the only source of your water— they saved you once before, who's to say they won't save you a thousand times more?
every time you feel like crying, every time that familiar faulty tap in your eyes begins to dampen against ashen skin, it's them that asks you if you're alright. even if you grit your teeth, even if you seeth or bite or beat or punch or kick, to punish yourself, to cope through the trauma, to not feel nothing.
every time pain begins to sear through your skin, it's your grandfather, father, brothers and sisters that huddle around you and tell you 'you're safe here, in the manor, with us'.
every time they spend hours, ditching patrol nights, cooking your comfort food, reading your favorite books, watching movies for hours, ignoring your assigned sleep schedule, kissing your scarred hands gently, reverently, cuddling your form against their strong ones as a silent promise that with them, there's nothing to harm you no more— you'd feel lighter every time, a tad happier, even. slowly, but surely, melting against the confines of your adorned cage and the embrace of your loving captors.
every time they help you heal, it makes you forgive, and it makes you forget their prior kidnapping in return of building new memories with them, in a safer haven, with nobody to hurt you any longer, with nobody to bash your head against concrete walls, to punish you. you who is underserving of the circumstances bought upon you back then.
safe, a word you thought you'll never feel, a word you didn't even know existed in the crevices of your heart. but it is with them that you slowly start to associate safe with family.
the family that you've come to love and cherish in your own imperfect ways, the same way a stray dog becomes too loyal to a passerby when given bones for leftovers every day.
but you're not an animal, and you're not a pavlovian dog meant to be conditioned. no, you're their baby, their love, their treasure and their only one. the love they feed you exceeds beyond leftovers. only you can devour them wholly, the same way they cloak your world in the love that fills that neverending pit in your heart.
you're not biologically related to any of them in any way, too. yet it was all a matter of coincidence that they stumbled upon you.
but really, past is past.
then is then.
now it's just you and them.
it's you, with them.
just your family. overbearing, overprotective, overpowering.
but nothing is always over to you. their love isn't too much. how could you tell yourself it's too much? not when you were never given a basis of what is too much. how is one too much when you were never even given enough?
trust is built upon a foundation of connecting with others who can relate with you one way or another, who can see past through your flaws and mistakes— it's a bond that precedes mere acquaintanceship.
you might've met them later than everyone else, but it's you that completes them.
you're the puzzle that completes the family photographs, the goal for bruce to continue his legacy as batman and to ward off all evil, the inspiration for dick to be that aspiring hero everyone sees him to be, the reason jason begins to reform himself for your sake, the purpose for tim's endless pursuit of knowledge, the muse for damian's painting, the subject for his love he thought was no more, the ambition for steph's prolongation despite her countless of failures, the motivation for barbara to seek out all the criminals who have harmed you, the influence for cass to be stronger to protect you, the catalyst for duke to use his metahuman abilities for good, to take out those who walk in broad daylight, as if they weren't involved in your past tortures.
you're everything that they are.
their sunshine and moonlight, their companionship and loneliness, their pain and pleasure, their yin and yan.
their greatest passion.
a/n: hii guys erm. this is so sudden and also counts as a rant but yk... i feel like quitting this blog but at the same time not. it's just, i feel like writing has been more of an obligation than anything else. it doesn't help the fact that i've only been getting interaction if i were to actually produce something good. beyond that, it feels like people are expecting more of me. i get it, updates are sporadic, they appear in the blink of an eye when you least expect it, but at the same time it's just hard juggling what i want to write and what i feel like i need to write. this blog was primarily to post about my thoughts and to talk to people but lately, every time i open this app to write, i feel these plethora of thoughts and expectations telling me that if i don't do well enough then people would merely ignore whatever i post or it's just bad by standards. and yes i'm grateful for all the people supporting my writing, but at the same time i'm lead to a cycle of me losing my motivation to continue writing. ugh idk what im doing anymore help :((
tl;dr: will i stop writing? no, but at the same time i don't know. someday, i may deactivate this account out of impulse if i feel too much, or not. it depends hehe.
#🌷... yael's works#🧁... yael's misc.#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere barbara gordon#yandere stephanie brown#yandere cassandra cain#yandere duke thomas#platonic yandere#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x female reader#soft yandere#yandere dc#male yandere#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x darling
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⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ dark!fic recs
CW: once again, these works contain dark and explicit themes that may be upsetting or triggering to some. please use your discretion and discernment.
@cherienymphe : when i first seriously got back on tumblr and got into dark!fanfic, cherie's was one of the first blogs i found. her writing was essentially my indoctrination. it was terrifying how much i loved it/her writing. truly phenomenal. i've read quite of few of her stories (mainly for rafe cameron, jj maybank, steve rogers, and peter parker) but i'll list my faves.
"when the party's over" - its something about this series...i think about it often. if you're into forced pregnancy or corruption tropes, tap in.
"wicked games" - i actually first read this one on ao3 before i discovered her tumblr and was absolutely gagged. another one i think of often.
"amnesiac" - the first series of hers that i ever read. absolutely traumatized me and i sobbed reading it. amazing storytelling.
"the hills" - another bangerrr. a one night stand ends in complete and total blackmail and entrapment. he just wanted to give her a better life *clown face emoji*.
"his father's son" - after ward death, rafe takes over the reins in more ways than one.
"teenage dirtbag" - this series single handedly made me a jj girl. the tension??? yup yup mhm.
"the less i know the better" - ironically my favorite part of this story is readers relationship with rafe but seeing jj slowly and then rapidly descend into madness? yeah.
"claimed" - a/b/o dynamics. brought me back to my wattpad days. still eat it up.
"daddy dearest" - steve meets a single mom and decides to be not the stepdad, but the dad who stepped up.
i'll be honest, i was a non believer in dark!peter but: "she's with me", "one last time." "suburbia" and "basic training" made a believer outta me. hands. down.
@lambtotheslaughterr : it absolutely amazes me the things that come from her mind. the level of creativity and originality needs to be studied. oona, you are criminally underrated.
“rise” - the first series of hers that i read. arguably the best series i’ve read on here thus far. this is the first part to her “the day the world ended” universe and it completely blew me away. i couldn’t believe that something like it had come from some silly little boat show. just brilliant.
“when the bough breaks” - the first work of hers i read. this one for me was a heartbreaking slow burn story, but the smut…makes up for it. yes yes.
“i burn” - sex!addict reader x rafe cameron. need i say more? actually, i will. the smut and tension in this one towards the end? it was shameful how turned on i was.
“one way or another” - buckle up, grab a snack, and prepare for the ride of a lifetime. that’s it.
“something wicked this way comes” - a single mom trying to escape her past, except her past is rafe cameron. this was one very spooky scary la la.
"summit" - the second part to the tdtwe universe. its still brand new but its already feeling like another banger, i mean it's oona. tap in.
@harryspet : rae was also apart of my indoctrination and boy did she do what needed to be done. her perfectly curated moodboards alone did it for me. very mindful, very demure.
"homestead" - what can i say...i'm a sucker for pregnancy stories :( and this series was no exception. absolutely delectable. enjoy.
"well kept" - classic millionaire ceo x reader, my younger wp reading self cheered gleefully. my love language is acts of service and boyy was this one speaking my language. had me at "scheduled braiding appointment."
"bambi eyes" - this one was one of those that made me want to take a good long look in the mirror and ask myself, "is this who we are...is this what we represent?"
@sherrybaby14 : this one is for the mcu girlies. more fics than you could ever ask for. everyone say "thank you, mother!"
"the distraction" - i'm starting to notice a kidnapping/stockholm syndrome pattern here...ANYWAY! work is realllyy stressful for steve and you just happen to be the perfect distraction.
@straywords : she's no longer active but her incredible writings remain so please, peruse. its like a beautiful museum over there.
"a break" - *gasp* another pregnancy story! stucky edition.
@darkficsyouneveraskedfor : an icon, a legend, she is the moment! another infinite library for my mcu girls. roo has all you could ever want or ask for.
@perlelune
"all too well" - yes, yes, another one, its who i am. rafe cameron proving once again that you can't escape him.
"lucky" - best friend!rafe x reader. he didn't know what he had until it was almost gone
"tag, you're it" - never read a scream fanfic before this one but boy did i have fun! chad is so pookie in this too :(
@honestsycrets : back when i was in my miguel era, sy single handedly kept me fed.
"starved | mio" - "mio", in which you babysit mayday and it gives miguel baby fever and "starved", in which he made you a mom...but its left less time for other activities.
"stung" - sex pollen/abo. reader gets bitten by an anomaly causing a reaction that only miguel can cure
"amor y respeto" - he just can't love you the way you need to be. so you and miguel break up...at the worst possible time.
"exclusive" - you and miguel are fuckbuddies. you want more, but miguel can't bring himself to give it to you. so you find company in hobie, who's there for you in all the ways that you need. miguel's not happy about that.
"canary" - you're a singer in the 1920s who's fallen in with the dangerous o'hara brothers.
"grande" - sex!worker miguel x assistant!reader. think...a pepper x tony kinda dynamic. except, miguel doesn't take kindly to certain slights. :)
@starfxkrinc : last but certainly not least! moony is a ridiculously talented writer and a mutal of mine. i found her early on during my resurgence on here. this is her new side blog (rip lovesickbrat and starfxkr!!) luckily she was able to salvage a lot of her past works and is back like she never left. i recommend her "western nights" series (really just the trailer park!jj tag in general) and her "ode to eaters" au. a queen of all things taboo. she does it for the girls who are drawn to the dark and scary. the gross and weird. <3
#lari's fic recs#dark!rafe x reader#dark!rafe cameron#dark!steve rogers#dark!steve rogers x reader#dark!peter parker#dark!peter parker x reader#dark!jj maybank#dark!jj maybank x reader#dark!ethan landry#dark!ethan landry x reader#dark!ransom drysdale#dark!random drysdale x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#rafe x reader#jj x reader#rafe cameron x reader#jj maybank x reader
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i always thought romantic love was the plague and i was a plague doctor.
so here's an aro-colored plague doctor
me oversharing beneath the cut about how amatonormativity has screwed me up in ways I have never been screwed up before.
(rant beneath the cut is full of negativity, triggering, but perhaps relatable. idk. read at your own risk)
okay so let's have a mini story telling time about how romance plagued every aspect of my life until now.
My bestfriend in high school treated me of less value after she gets her boyfriend. This experience was what drove me into drawing plague doctors during valentines. These doodles were captioned with "Plague is in the air", because my friends in my circle told me to not hang out with her on that day because it's valentines day. So cool, I thought I should avoid them like they were the plague.
For the first half of college, I've been a wingman for way too many of my friends for my only female and best friend.
It has gotten to a point where the meaning of my companionship with my male friends had become solely for providing a connection to a girl they want to date.
In the long run, my bestfriend, who my 'friends' were pining for, actually has been pining for me. She asked if we could be a thing, I said yes because I thought that, romance isn't probably as disgusting as I think of it.
To protect tradition and to protect the feelings of the men she rejected (who I also wingmanned), we kept it hidden.
For the entire time, she emphasized how I was dense and oblivious about romance. For the entire time I was confused, disoriented, and even repulsed. I didn't know how to reciprocate and I certainly did not have THOSE feelings either at all.
Of course it didn't end well.
After that failed attempt at romance, I have been involved in three more encounters after that. Men suddenly started talking to me out of nowhere. Initially, I thought that they were just trying to make new friends. I didn't realize they were hitting on me but when I did, I cold-shouldered them out of my life.
The last one was the most traumatic. I have explicitly stated that he shouldn't attempt to romance me because I've admitted that I'm way too tired of dealing with it, but he was stubborn. He has also gone as far as sexualizing me against my will.
So yeah.
Amatonormativity made me lose faith in the meaning of my friendships.
It made me realize how friendship is easily overshadowed by romantic relationships.
It made me worry that my kindness is misread as a romantic gesture.
It made me constantly hate how friendship is only seen as a stepping stone for a romantic relationship.
And because amatonormativity has rendered all my significant connections meaningless, I'll spend every second of my life hating amatonormativity. I will always be repulsed at the concept that destroyed every goddamned friendship that I had. Nothing has ever made me feel THS sick. I will always think of it as the plague.
#aromantic#aromantic pride#aro#aromanticism#aro pride#aromantic art#aro art#art#illustration#digital art#plague doctor#plague#aswang postings🟢#visuals🟢#texts🟢
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"Your girl" - Part 2 | The Salesman x Reader
Summary: After he spontaneously abducted you, you try to figure out what his plans are for you. Is it to break your will? Your body? Or something else entirely?
Warnings: dead dove do not eat, kidnapping, violence, abuse, something I'd call mild torture, hinting at traumatic experiences, claustrophobic spaces, chains, degradation
"Your girl" - The Salesman x Reader Masterlist
The hunger wasn't the worst part.
No, you had learned to live with the hunger. You were your mother's daughter after all. You had a certain tolerance when it came to unpleasant living conditions.
No, what was far worse than the hunger was the darkness. You had no idea what time it was. Was it still night or had the sun risen already? Were the birds still asleep or were they happily chirping and announcing a new, beautiful day?
Surely it was beautiful to someone. It was someone's birthday. Someone's wedding day. Someone simply got to have a lazy morning and have brunch and coffee at noon.
Not you, though. You were still chained up, still hidden away in a dark closet. And you couldn't even tell if it was night or day.
Yesterday had been far worse though. The memory of it still made you flinch.
Instead of a dark closet, you had spent your day chained to the bed. So far, so good. Up until the point when he made you drink a whole water bottle, right before he chained you up. And then he left. Then he fucking left. You had heard the door shut behind him.
You really weren't a proud person and you had quickly come to realize that your situation required a certain...delicacy. So, you didn't mind when you had to beg. You didn't mind crying or yelling at all. That you just did, it came as naturally as the sun rises early and sets late. You had even agreed to say those damned, magical words.
"I'm your girl, please, I'm your girl!"
But no, silly. It was too late.
"I don't want that fucking, pitiful bullshit." He had spat out as he had tightened the chains around your wrists. "You will say it and you will mean it. Until then, we'll make do with what we have."
Which was exactly what had happened. He had forced the water down your throat and eventually you found yourself in, what he called, your bed. It hadn't been all too bad at first. Except for the obvious discomfort and the constant fear that nagged at you. But it got worse, the moment you felt the pressure in your bladder.
You normally had to use the bathroom about every two hours at the latest. Your urethra was quite tight - You knew that, because your mother had dragged you to a gynecologist as a teen. She had been furious, because you had to use the bathroom so often as a child. She had often snapped at you. Sometimes she even made you wait and told you, you had to wait a certain amount of time, before you could use it. It always ended the same way. You on your knees, begging and pleading with her to let you pee. You could have just let go and peed yourself. As already mentioned, you weren't too proud. But that was a sore spot. More than twenty-three years later and it still was a sore spot.
Your mother sat beside you in the doctor's office, affectionately stroking your hair.
After the doctor finished his speech about the tight urethra, he began a new speech about the way one of your kidneys seemed to be a little slow. It worked, yes. But you had to spend your life going careful around salt and peeing.
My poor darling, she had murmured. I knew there was a reason you had to go so often. My poor, darling girl.
It wasn't normally a problem. Until yesterday, when the sadistic bastard had tied you up and left you like that for nine...fucking...hours.
Your body still hurt terribly, just thinking about it.
You had been tempted to let go and make a mess of yourself. Who cared after all? It was his fucking bed, his fucking clothes, his-
But you couldn't. You just couldn't.
So you had laid on that bed, cried and writhed for hours on end. By the time he came back, he wore the most surprised expression, because he had obviously expected you to let go and pee yourself.
He found you with your eyes swollen and your face puffy, but the bed was dry.
"Such a good girl." He had murmured and tenderly caressed your cheek. "My good girl."
By the time he uncuffed you, you nearly broke both legs jumping up and rushing towards the door. But his low voice brought you back to reality.
"Stop."
You stood frozen, facing away from him.
And then the softest "Please" passed past your lips.
He had been tempted to refuse you, you could tell. He was cruel, sadistic and simply fucking crazy. But for some reason, he had sighed, the sound almost making you sob.
"Go."
And that you did. It had been so painful and so terribly degrading, but you had managed. You had truly managed.
By the time you came back to your bedroom, he still sat on the edge of the bed. Just like the night before - you had expected him to get physical. But instead he simply beckoned you to come closer and instructed you to sit down on the floor before him.
So far he hadn't gotten physical. At least one good thing, you thought. He hadn't ravished you. Yet. Hadn't even tried to kiss you. Nothing.
Hesitantly, you had approached him and sat down on the floor, your arms wrapped tightly around your legs. God, you finally felt like a human again.
"Who are you?" He had asked in that gentle, silken voice.
"Your girl." The words were an obvious mantra, easily repeated all day if so he demanded. But to your horror, he tsked again and shook his head.
He had leaned closer until your faces almost touched and whispered: "You still don't mean it."
Your heart clenched tightly and you whispered: "Please, I-"
But he interrupted you by simply holding up his hand. His fingertips ran down your cheek in a gentle manner and you almost found yourself leaning closer.
Almost.
What two days of hunger and one day of bladder pain could do to you.
"Get in the closet." He instructed firmly.
You swallowed thickly.
"Please." You whispered again. Your desperate tone wasn't for show, the crack in your voice wasn't to manipulate him. You were truly exhausted. But he simply shook his head.
"Don't make me say it again."
You closed your eyes in defeat and buried your face in your hands for a moment. Then you nodded and carefully got up. Everything was a little giddy and dizzy, since the pancakes had been the last thing you ate. But you didn't complain. You weren't that stupid.
You had just been stupid enough to take his hand.
And get in his car.
And his fucking apartment.
If you had struggled, sure, he might have gone crazy and shot you. But was that really that much worse than the prospect of spending the rest of your life like this?
You moved into the closet, a tiny room with hardly enough space for you to stretch out your legs. He made you sit down and then he cuffed you up again. Sitting down, not laying down.
All the while he was in there with you, making sure the cuffs stayed in place, you had stared up at his face with the most desperate expression in your eyes.
Once he finished with the cuffs, all he did was glance down at you, almost gently and smile.
"Be a good girl and let me sleep tonight. Don't scream and shout like you did all morning."
You swallowed again and you couldn't hide the soft tremble of your lips.
"I'm afraid of the dark." You whispered.
He tilted his head to the side, almost thoughtfully. Then he hummed. You had grown to hate that sound.
"I wasn't going to turn off the lights, but well. You may thank yourself. Good night, sweet girl."
"No! Please!"
And with that the lights went out and the door closed.
Click.
You couldn't tell if he slept in your room, to make sure you stayed where you were or if he went to the other side of the hallway and slept in his own room. Whatever it was, you couldn't tell because you didn't hear a thing. All you heard was the sound of your own heavy breathing and the way it got interrupted by a sob every now and then.
It had been a few hours. You really couldn't tell how many. And every time you were about to fall asleep, you flinched and your head shot back up, suddenly all too aware of where you were and what was going on.
Until eventually your exhaustion got the better of you and you fell asleep, your face buried against your knees.
It was a restless sleep, haunted by the memory of the man on the train lines.
But at least you hadn't dreamt of your mother ever since.
Some time later, you were woken up when you felt his hand press down on your shoulder. You flinched so hard, you immediately got a headache. He chuckled at the sight.
"Good morning, sweet girl. Did you sleep well?" He purred.
You were so exhausted and straight-up annoyed that you were tempted to ignore him or give a snarky remark. But you decided against it. Also, you felt lightheaded by how hungry you were, so you simply looked up at him with a soft, timid look.
"Awww." He smirked as he slowly uncuffed you. "I slept just wonderful. You did a good job, keeping your pretty little mouth shut."
He yanked you to your feet, causing you to stumble against him. He instantly wrapped his arms around you and ran his hands over your back. It would have come off as soothing and affectionate, if he wasn't such a twisted bastard. But again, you endured the touch.
It wasn't like you were touch-starved. Not at all. You had never been with a man before, not in that way. But you missed kindness. You missed someone smiling at you in the morning. And if it was only your boss, wishing you a productive day. You missed people.
"Are you ready for your water bottle?"
When he saw the horrified look on your face, he laughed heartily.
"I'm just playing, sweet girl. It's not funny twice."
He carefully led you out of the closet and through the apartment.
"Are you hungry?" He murmured as he gently pressed a hand against the small of your back.
You felt yourself nod. It was obviously some kind of trick, because you were certain by now that you would soon die of starvation and that that had been his plan all along. But you still nodded.
Eventually you reached the kitchen, where the smell of food immediately filled your nostrils. The table was filled with food - rice, vegetables, some meat and fruit. You nearly blacked out at the sight.
"Come. Sit."
He sat you down a few feet away from the table. Of course. A trick. He'd probably make you watch while he ate or something like that.
He sat down opposite you and looked at you for a long moment.
"I'll ask you a question. And you'll answer. Truthfully. No second chances. If you answer to my liking, you get to eat. If you mess it up, you get punished."
You simply stared at him. It wasn't a question, so you didn't answer. Also, after three days of not eating anything - were it truly three days? How long had you been in that godforsaken closet? - you didn't really care about anything else.
"Good." He said calmly. "Are you a virgin?"
That seemed to pique his interest the most, because he stared at you intently, not even smirking for once.
Immediately you felt your face flush in embarassment, but you felt yourself nod.
"Yes." You whispered.
He leaned back in his chair and hummed softly. "You're not lying to me, are you?"
You quickly shook your head.
"How old are you again?"
"Twenty-four." You whispered in the same, weak voice.
"Delicious." He purred. Then he reached over and grabbed a spoonful of rice. When he held it out to you, you choked it down like a rabid animal.
"Careful. You'll get sick." He said in a tone that resembled gentleness. By now you knew there was nothing gentle about him. Nothing good.
But you pushed the thought back, when he fed you another spoon of rice. Two questions, two bites.
"What is the reason you live and work in a country where you don't even speak the language or know the way back to your apartment?"
You swallowed. "I got a good job offer."
"Bullshit." He narrowed his eyes. "The real reason."
You considered lying. But you were sure, for some reason, he would find out.
"To get away from my family." You then whispered.
He sighed in an exaggerated manner and set the spoon aside.
"Too bad, sweet girl. You deceived me the first time. You know the rules. I need to punish you."
You closed your eyes, albeit briefly. It was like they had a mind of their own and you were so exhausted that you could hardly take any more of this.
"You're lucky though. You get to pick your punishment."
Your brows furrowed suspiciously and he smiled.
"No deceit, sweet girl. You get to pick between two options. I'll give you ten seconds each time. If you don't choose on time, I choose for you."
You buried your face in your hands, but eventually you nodded.
His words felt like a gunshot.
"I slap your face or I cut off your hair. Choose."
You froze.
Fuck.
Of course you knew which one you'd pick. You couldn't cut off your hair. For various reasons. First off, it was deeply rooted into your mind that you needed to keep your hair long and lush.
Or else who would ever marry you, honey? No, no. You don't get to cut it off. Not ever. You wouldn't want to disappoint mama, hm?
And then again...Your hair was one of the few things you truly liked about your appearance. You liked the color, the texture...You just enjoyed looking at it whenever you felt bad about yourself. You played with it whenever you were nervous. It was your hair.
When he shot you an impatient look, you suddenly remembered the rules.
Three...two...
"Slap." You gasped out.
He leaned back and his smile widened.
"Are you sure?"
You nodded quickly.
"Smart girl." He purred, almost seductively. "Brave girl."
He didn't give you any time or sign to brace yourself. Instead he simply reached out and slapped your face, with an intensity that made your breath hitch. Your head snapped to the side and you let out a pained moan.
The pain of the slap stung. But not half as much as it would have if you had to cut off your hair.
He hummed. Bastard.
"Very well. Next question."
He sized you up calmly.
"Why did you want to get away from your family?"
You closed your eyes. "Well, they...Well, they..."
"That doesn't count. Disqualified."
Uh-oh.
"You never explicitly specified I had to answer straight-up." You said quietly.
Very slowly he inched forward until his forehead nearly touched yours.
"Are you talking back to me?"
"No." You breathed out.
"Good." He smirked. "I punch your gut or I cut off your hair. Choose."
You had a very bad feeling, like you knew what this game was leading to. The nausea that took hold of you felt suffocating.
"Punch." You croaked out.
No one had ever punched you before. And you had a feeling today would bring many more firsts.
"Hold up your hands."
Reluctantly you obeyed. He looked into your eyes, looking for any sign of disobedience. But all he found was fear.
He tsked disapprovingly.
"Anyone with brains would have chosen the hair." He said lowly. "But you're a pretty girl. I like your long hair." He slowly treaded his fingertips through the length of your hair. "So, you better do us both a favor and answer in time from now on."
With that you felt a sharp blow of pain when his fist shot forward and punched you right in the stomach. He wasn't gentle about it.
You doubled over and nearly fell off the chair. At the same time you let out a desperate sob and gasped for air.
The only thing you could suddenly think about was your slow kidney. Oh God, what if he damaged the good one?
You tried to push these thoughts away as good as you could. It wasn't easy.
You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. And he stared right back with something that looked almost like...pride.
"Why did you want to get away from your family?"
"Because my mother abused me." You gritted out.
Surprise flashed over his features. "How?"
"She starved me, didn't let me pee, hit me everywhere no one could see the scars, locked me in my room for days, yelled at me and many more things, many many more. Dark and twisted things, things you're never supposed to do to someone you supposedly care about. I bet you and her would have gotten along splendid." You couldn't tell who was more surprised about your sudden, angry outburst - you or him. He just stared at you and you half expected him to knock your teeth out.
Instead he slowly reached for the spoon and fed you two spoons rice with vegetables.
"Good girl." He said with no hint of teasing.
You savored the food in your mouth and swallowed slowly, ignoring his words. Mostly. But a part of you was almost relieved that he took so well to your anger.
"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I'm scared of intimacy."
"Do you regret it?"
"Yes."
"Good girl."
Three spoonfuls, as promised.
"When was the last time you touched yourself?"
Your face flushed instantly, but you forced yourself to answer.
"The day before we met."
One spoon.
"What were you thinking about?"
You felt yourself go pale.
"What?"
He sighed disapprovingly.
"When you touched yourself. What did you think about?" He asked impatiently.
And you were silent. For three seconds. Five. And finally ten.
He stared at you with an intensity that was terrifying.
"Play the rest of the game on your knees or I cut off your hair."
Your cheeks grew warm in shame. But immediately, you slid down to your knees infront of him. The floor was cold, but that was the smallest one of your concerns. You couldn't meet his gaze as you knelt there.
Slowly and almost tenderly he reached down and tilted your chin up. The intensity in his eyes was overwhelming. You couldn't quite detect or name the look in his eyes. All you knew was that it was intense and that it made your cheeks grow even warmer.
"Good girl." He whispered. "I'll ask you again."
At least he warned you.
"What were you thinking about while you touched yourself?"
"I fantasized."
"Specify."
You tried to avert your gaze but his grip on your chin was too tight. The expression in your eyes was pleading. But he didn't care. He didn't care one bit.
Suddenly you realized something. He didn't seem to care about the rules or the game any longer. He just wanted to know.
"I had..." Your eyes fluttered shut and your voice slipped into a barely audible whisper. "I had rough fantasies."
"Specify."
"Of being used." You finally choked out. The words felt like acid in your mouth. Never before had you told anyone about this, except for the one time when you spoke to your psychiatrist.
You had sobbed and nearly choked on your tears, claiming that you were twisted, odd, fucked in the head.
But all he had said in response was; many women have those fantasies. You're not twisted. You simply have desires which go ahead of the ordinary.
By the time you blinked your eyes open, you realized that he wasn't recoiling in disgust. He wasn't laughing at you. He didn't even flinch. He simply seemed curious.
"What else?"
"What...what else?"
"What else do you fantasize about that you consider shameful? Are your fantasies rough? Are they painful? Are they degrading? Are they-" He cut himself off and finally leaned back.
"You did good. Really good." He reached out and played with a strand of your hair. "You got lucky." He murmured. After a long sigh, he got up and said: "Eat up. But slowly. I can't have you puking all over yourself. I have plans for you."
You didn't need to be told twice. In a ridiculous speed you were back at the table and savored the food in your mouth, appreciating every bite.
He turned to leave the room, but stopped in the doorway and looked at you with a small frown.
"You got really lucky." He murmured to himself as he glanced at your form again.
"As did I."
#squid game#squid game fanfic#squid game fanfiction#squid game x reader#squid game x yn#squid game x you#salesman#the salesman#the salesman squid game#squid game the salesman#squid games salesman#salesman squid game#salesman x reader#the salesman x reader#salesman x yn#the salesman x yn#salesman x you#the salesman x you#the salesman smut#squid game smut#gong yoo
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matchmaker.
in which max is tired of lando being a single mess, so he plays matchmaker.
lando norris x famous!reader.
fc: sabrina carpenter.
_
liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, madisonbeer and 1 738 929 others.
y/n: lil photodump 💭
_
madisonbeer: my goddess!! miss you pookie xx
liked by y/n.
user: QUEEN OMGGBSKSKSL
user: she’s addicted to slaying
user: pls come to brazil!!
user: can’t wait to see you in paris!!
user: she’s so pretty wtf
user: Y/N AND MADISON COLLAB WHEN??
user: emails i can’t send is a masterpiece y/n!!
user: JUST ONE CHANGE IM BEGGING AHKSOSLSL
user: the man who’s going to date her is literally the luckiest man on earth
see more.
_
imessages between max and lando.
max:
mate
i have good news
lando:
what?
i’m scared actually
max:
fuck off
it’s for your own sake
lando:
okay NOW i’m terrified
max:
SHUT IT
you’re going on a blind date tonight
lando:
um
no?
max:
wasn’t a question you idiot
be ready at 9
a car will come pick you up
lando:
DHAT
WHAT
MAX ANWSER
WITH WHO???
I REFUSE
_
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imessages between max and lando.
lando:
max fewtrell.
did you REALLY sent me on a blind date with Y/N FUCKING L/N??
WITHOUT WARNING ME??
i was SO embarrassing
max:
okay for my defense, i didn’t know
i asked kika to find me someone who could match your vibe and apparently it had to be y/n…
BUT apparently it went well so we good
lando:
mate
i fucking spilled my wine on her expensive looking dress
i tripped over my own feet when i got up to pay the bill
i stuttered when she asked for my NAME
i almost slipped when i tried to open the car door for her
i answered « that’s cool » when she told me that the inspiration for her new album was her past and traumatic relationship
max:
holy shit dude
she’s never calling you again that’s for SURE
well at least we tried
lando:
wait till i catch you and kika
i’ll run you over with my car
BOTH OF YOU TRAITORS
max:
i’m innocent
it’s all kika’s fault
_
_
imessages between max, kika and lando.
kika:
YOU COWARD
SHE THINKS YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER
TEXT HER NOW
max:
why are we yelling
kika:
go on twitter and see for yourself
lando:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN’T LIKE HER??
she should be the one to dislike me i literally made a fool out of myself BECAUSE I WASN’T PREPARED TO MEET MY CELEBRITY CRUSH???
kika:
you should be always prepared lando norris
lando:
omg give me a break
what should i do?
max:
her fans hate you lmao
text her maybe?
kika:
I HAVE A BETTER IDEA
invite her for the miami gp!
yes i’m a genius
lando:
do you want me to crash on the wall francisca?
i will 100% fumble the race if i know she’s watching
max:
oh my god
why are you such a pussy?
lando:
fuck YOU
this is all your fault
kika:
if you don’t invite her, i WILL
lando:
FINE
but if i die i’ll haunt your ass forever
kika:
who knows maybe you’ll finally win a race ;)
mister lando NOwins
lando:
wow i didn’t know mister pierre gasly was a race winner already
max:
okay enough you two
_
liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, francisca.cgomes and 2 628 048 others.
y/n: may not know a lot about formula one, but i know for a fact that you deserved that win. i can’t wait to be with you during your journey, pretty boy <3
_
landonorris: i couldn’t ask for a better partner, pretty girl <3
user: YESSS FINALLY
user: omg they’re together??
user: WTFFFABSKSLMSLS
user: no bc why are they so cute??
user: aww she was so happy for him when he won
user: lmao the cameraman kept zooming in on her when lando won ajsksllz
user: PARENTS
user: CONGRATS LANDO
user: he better treat her right
user: they’re cute ngl
see more.
#f1 fandom#f1 au#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#formula one#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris x female reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x oc#lando norris x y/n#lando x reader#lando norris fluff#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4#f1 instagram au#f1 masterlist#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1#formula one x y/n#formula one x oc#formula one x you#formula one x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris f1
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I don't even know how to word this in a way that makes sense and I think in an overall world building sense this is a major case of "Man I think it depends" but I actually don't think Spite is a "demon".
Spirits and Demons are essentially the same, yes, and I think there's much to be said about this in in parallel to a healthy person vs a deeply traumatized person, but to quote Neve, "one is more likely to manipulate you, or kill you," etc etc.
A demon is a spirit whose purpose has been twisted. And I don't think Spite's purpose has been twisted much at all.
Determination's purpose is "accomplish my goal (whatever that may be)". Spite (the emotion)'s purpose is exactly the same, with the added benefit of "especially against the wishes of others".
I think the demonic version of Determination would be "Ruthlessness", not Spite.
Spite (the guy) is not wholly consumed by his purpose like other "demons" are. He doesn't pursue his goals at the expense of his companions. He has several other interests even if they seem a little silly (learning what tastes good, or even new forms of combat like fire). And he tells us his purpose several times...it's his promise with Lucanis! Escape, kill, and live! This goal is one of determination and it has not changed by his becoming Spite. The goal is not warped in any way even with his joining to Lucanis.
Bellara speculates as to why Spite doesn't just take Lucanis over or turn him into a nasty mound of flesh. I want to argue that this is because Spite is a named spirit, not a demon.
What's more spiteful than not allowing your captors to change you? What says fuck you to people who would use you as a tool than self-determination? What's more spiteful than being determined to be free, to fight who would enslave you, to live?
My working theory is that Spite is not a demon in the same sense as, say, Wisdom being corrupted into Pride, which twists a desire to guide, teach, or navigate situations with care into a desire to be right and unchallenged.
I think Spite is to Determination as Eulogy is to Compassion.
#spite dragon age#dragon age veilguard#da veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#spite dellamorte#i got a really old but powerful academic urge to write a ten page paper with cited sources on this today#arent they just so perfect together#a shade and a wounded spirit etc etc#they work because they are the same! they want to live and be free! and fuck everybody else!#datv#veilguard#dragon age#cathedralposting#i need to put spite in a little petri dish and study him#this has been said before but I'll say it again
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